hi group

We just adopted an about 11 month old black shepherd/lab/chow mix. Her name's Esperanza. We have an 8 year old lab mix/Bosco. They get along relatively well, for three weeks together.

Our friend, Barbara, wants to bring over her Lab, Shelbie, to meet Esperanza for the first time. Barbara will also have her 3 year old son, Luca, with her. Esperanza and Luca have met and it wasn't a great encounter. When Espy wanted to nip at Luca's heels, Barbara escalated the encounter, instead of correcting it.

I want to meet outside our home, not inside, and go for a walk together. Barbara insists on meeting inside our home. I disagree.

What are your thoughts about this first meeting?

Thanks,

Chuck, Elaine, Bosco and Esperanza Tikva

Hi Chuck -

Barbara wants to bring her dog inside your house with her 3-year-old whom your dog already had a negative experience with and it's this environment she wants two strange dogs to meet? This is a disaster waiting to happen.

Please meet Barbara at some point away from both your homes and don't let her dog come inside yours.

Did she say why exactly she wanted to bring her dog inside your house?

Did your dogs indicate a desire for more friends?

This has BAD IDEA written all over it. Is it worth it for you to put your dogs at risk? ONE bad experience with a small child would be enough for me to not allow my dog near small children again, or at least for a long, long time. It is my job to protect my dog from stuff like that. If the child ends up being bitten, or your friend does, the dog will lose. It's that simple.
And, may I ask, why did your friend (and her child) have access to a dog you only recently acquired?
It may not go over well, but you owe it to your dogs to explain to your friend that your dogs are not available to have a play date with hers. They are too new to each other for that to even be a consideration! Even then, I would not be letting it happen. It is not a necessity that your dogs be "social" with random dogs that are not a part of your regular, daily pack. PLUS, I would NEVER include a small child in the mix, ever! There are too many possibilities with strange dogs to even BEGIN to fathom the possibilities for a meeting with both children and strange dogs all at the same time!
For the record, even though my one dog has been around children a LOT I do NOT allow her to be approached by children at ALL unless I am right there and have her on leash. I don't allow her to be loose around children, and I would NEVER allow a friend or otherwise to correct her for any reason, or be closer to her than I am EVER. My sister was visiting me a few weeks ago with my niece, who is 4. Before they came, and several times while they were here, we had talks about the dogs with her, and one of the two of us was ALWAYS around her so she would not wander off into the room the crates are. If the dogs were out, They were on leash and I was between them and her, in case she forgot. It was not left up to the 4 year old to stay away from the dogs, I kept THEM away from HER. There were many times she was allowed to approach and pet them, but I was ALWAYS there, and they were sitting for her, and they were always already tired out from play outside before allowed to be around her. This is a necessary preventative.
If your friend cannot support you in this, I would recommend crating the dogs while your friend and her child are there, and not allowing them to be near the dogs at ALL.

 Quote: chuck silverman

I want to meet outside our home, not inside, and go for a walk together. Barbara insists on meeting inside our home. I disagree.

What are your thoughts about this first meeting?

Same as yours. No discussion.

"Insists"? About someone else's home and someone else's dog?


P.S. If you posted for back-up from experienced dog folks, you got it!

I would bet money that you could collect 25 posts on this thread and not one would go Barbara's way.

If she has some kind of ill-advised theory about "fixing" her child's first encounter, that's something to refuse involvement in. JMO. You have good instincts.

 Quote: Cameron Feathers

My sister was visiting me a few weeks ago with my niece, who is 4. Before they came ... It was not left up to the 4 year old to stay away from the dogs, I kept THEM away from HER. There were many times she was allowed to approach and pet them, but I was ALWAYS there, and they were sitting for her, and they were always already tired out from play outside before allowed to be around her.

Wise move.

But this has nothing to do with a casual visit from a friend with a strange dog and a child who has already had a negative experience with your dog, for whom none of this is necessary or desirable.

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

 Quote: Cameron Feathers

My sister was visiting me a few weeks ago with my niece, who is 4. Before they came ... It was not left up to the 4 year old to stay away from the dogs, I kept THEM away from HER. There were many times she was allowed to approach and pet them, but I was ALWAYS there, and they were sitting for her, and they were always already tired out from play outside before allowed to be around her.

Wise move.

And this has nothing to do with a casual visit from a friend, either, with a strange dog and a child who has already had a negative experience with your dog, for whom none of this is necessary or desirable.

Exactly. If it were a friend with a child coming over, the dogs would be up for the entire visit.
Since my sister was staying here, it was impossible to keep them crated for the visit, thus we came up with this strategy to handle it as smoothly as possible.

From previous thread:

 Quote: chuck silverman

... When we first brought her in to our home, Espy, who's a shep/lab mix, less then a year old, bared her teeth and snapped at me when I tried to remove her leash from her mouth. (she was gnawing on it.) ....

This dog does not need anything like this meeting yet.

This dog needs groundwork -- within the pack. She is a way from the kind of intro Barbara "insists" on, even outside. If you would like some links about establishing pack structure, etc., let us know.

My dogs are great with other dogs but we do not allow outside dogs on the property PERIOD!

 Quote: connie sutherland

From previous thread:

 Quote: chuck silverman

... When we first brought her in to our home, Espy, who's a shep/lab mix, less then a year old, bared her teeth and snapped at me when I tried to remove her leash from her mouth. (she was gnawing on it.) ....

This dog does not need anything like this meeting yet.

This dog needs groundwork -- within the pack. She is a way from the kind of intro Barbara "insists" on, even outside. If you would like some links about establishing pack structure, etc., let us know.

Hi

Establishing pack structure information is great welcomed. Thank you for all your comments and advice.

Chuck