Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
#221084 - 12/21/2008 06:39 PM |
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Hey all,
I am heartbroken. I wrote a few months ago, about my 2 year old Boerboel growling at my 3 year old son. I have been keeping my kids and the dog separated as much as possible, and having any interaction with them be positive.
Truman has been raised with my kids since he was 10 weeks old. I have always been vigilant about the kids treating the dog with respect. If the kids were acting like hurricanes the dog went in his crate.
Truman growled at my 3 year old about 6 or so months ago. I have increased his Obedience and also taken away many of his freedoms. Since then, he has lunged twice when in his crate, and the kids got too close to it. His body language when outside the crate, shows me he is not comfortable around the kids. He is also showing new fears to things. My cell phone beeping, UPS people delivering a package, visitors.
Tonight, he really scared us. He was in a down stay on his bed. My husband and I were both in the room. My 4 year old walked close to where Truman was laying. The dog lunged up and connected with his teeth to my sons hand. He did not bite down, but still bruised his fingers and scared the crap out of all of us. I have always been able to find a reason for Truman to react the way he has, but not this time.
Growing up, he was confident and curious. Now he seems very reserved and fearful. This has all happened in a span of about 6 months. Last summer I took this dog to Niagara Falls. He loved it! Now if he is in the car, and someone comes over to say hello, he cowers.
I feel like I failed him, even though I know I did my best. I thought I did all of the right things in socializing him. His breeder says this litter was a failure, there have been other dogs with temperament issues as well as health issues.
I am planning on euthanizing Truman in the morning. I am crying so hard as I write this. I love him, but I love my kids more. I feel like I tried my best, but it wasn't enough. I am afraid of making a mistake in handling him, and my kids will have to pay for it.
Someone tell me I am doing the right thing...
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Tracy R Touzjian ]
#221086 - 12/21/2008 07:45 PM |
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Hi Tracy,
I just read your post and some of your old posts on Truman. I was waiting for someone who is more experienced to reply, but since no one has responded yet....
Is Truman confused of what is expected of him? Since he has shown aggression towards you children, he needs to be kept separated from the children, at all times.
If you are unable to do, can you try to re-home him with a family that doesn't have small children?
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Melissa Hau ]
#221087 - 12/21/2008 07:55 PM |
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To me, it doesn't sound like you've made much of an attempt to correct the situation. Have you even considered training or speaking with a pro about this?
You're making the wrong decision by punishing the dog for your lack of obedience training.
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Melissa Hau ]
#221088 - 12/21/2008 08:03 PM |
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Hi Melissa,
I don't think he is confused, I think he is genetically a fearful dog. The kids scare him, even though he has been raised with them, and they have never been allowed to torment him.
I had been keeping them separated. Except for times when I could keep my eyes on him 100% of the time. This incidence happened right in front of my eyes, without warning. I'm sure there was some warning on Trumans part, but a child just walking by his bed, is not worthy of such a defensive reaction. He is just plain not safe with kids.
I love this dog, and have put so much time and effort into training and loving him. This is the last thing I want to have happened. I have made excuse after excuse about his behavior with my kids. I can't do it anymore. Also, how do you rehome a dog like Truman? He is 140 lbs of a possible fearbiter? I don't know anyone who I could trust to take him on. I don't know what kind of life he would lead if I dumped him on a rescue, if they'd even take him.
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Nicholas David ]
#221090 - 12/21/2008 08:12 PM |
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Nicholas,
Please, you don't have any idea of the effort I've put into this dog. We have been through basic and advanced OB training. He has his CGC and his TT certificate. We have always practiced NILF on a 24 hour a day basis. He has been separated from my kids without total supervision since the 1st warning sign.
I think there is something wrong in this dogs head. Like I said, the breeder has told me of temperament problems with his littermates. I believe this to be genetic. I feel badly enough about this without you saying I haven't done enough OB training! You should see his down in motion!!
He is VERY obedient. That is not the issue. That could be fixed. It is now about his quality of life living in a locked crate from 6:30 a.m, when the kids get up, until 8:30 pm, when they go to bed. That would be the only safe way for my children. He would not be happy in a kennel outside. I don't know my other options.
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Tracy R Touzjian ]
#221091 - 12/21/2008 08:42 PM |
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Tracy,
If Truman hasn't shown other signs of aggression (to handler, people in general), maybe he has somehow associated the children with something negative? If he wasn't a fearful dog for the fist 1.5 years of his life, something must have led to the change?
I don't know if all dogs are supposed to get along with young children. Some dogs just don't get along with children, cats, or other dogs. Just like people don't get along with their family members/siblings.
Why not keep Truman and the dogs in separated parts of the house, if you don't want to have him crated 14 hrs a day?
My husband and I have a 7 year old Westie and we got a 3 yo GSD earlier this year, my husband built two gates between our living/dining areas so we could keep them in separate parts of the house.
I am not sure if Truman deserves to be put down at this point, without at least making an attempt to find him a new home, or seeking professional help.
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Melissa Hau ]
#221092 - 12/21/2008 08:47 PM |
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Is this the same dog that a teenage niece or cousin or someone was riding on like a pony and then alpha-rolling when you were not there?
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#221093 - 12/21/2008 08:51 PM |
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So glad to see you, Connie, I was hoping someone more experienced would step in =)
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Connie Sutherland ]
#221094 - 12/21/2008 08:58 PM |
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It is. She is 22 years old, and I thought she knew better.
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Re: Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
[Re: Tracy R Touzjian ]
#221095 - 12/21/2008 09:00 PM |
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Tracy, I am truly sorry to be reading this. I for one, know from reading all your posts that you put a lot of time and effort into Truman's training so pay no mind to the other poster.
Are you sure Truman has no health problems? That would be my first step. Second, would be to find someone who you trust can safely adopt him. If no one will take him, sadly, I would have to agree euthanasia would be the last option.
I commend you for being realistic and responsible. A dog of this size and power cannot be placed with just anyone, and the safety of your kids, and family comes first. Even if this dog was separated from your kids 24/7, they are kids, and something can happen. Or if you have visitors, who knows. It's really a sad situation, and I'm really sorry this has happened.
Alex
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