Ok, so since I joined this board I have been posting here everyday. I hope I am not annoying anybody. Its just so exciting to have so many smart, experienced people to talk to about all my little questions!

The first trainer described my dog as a "social climber", not ultra dominant but more than willing to take on the role of top dog if given the opportunity.

I have seen this in her interaction with other dogs. She very often will be the dog that gathers up all the goodies at the park (sticks, tennis balls, ect) and just lay down. None of the other dogs will bother her when she does this.

However, she will submit to other dogs in some circumstances. For example, one of her favorite doggie girlfriends pinned her down upon their first meeting and they have been best buds ever since.

A second trainer basically told me that I didn't do my self any favors by selecting a female puppy. He said that as a single woman selecting a female with this personality I have subjected myself to life long dominance struggles.

Is this true?

It may sound silly, but I felt as though the trainer was just being sexist. I didn't go beyond an evaluation with him because I didn't like him for a lot of other reasons, but I'm starting to wonder if he was right about this.

I have noticed that it takes a pretty hard prong collar correction to get her to stop certain bossy behaviors, and then a few days later she will try again. A good example of what I'm talking about is that she will sometimes mouth my calf when my back is turned. She will also bark at me demanding attention, and she very often "talks back" when I correct her.

Any opinions or experience on this matter would be greatly appreciated. I'm just trying to figure out how strict I need to be with her without damaging our relationship.

Thanks!

I will answer your questions with questions! Refresh my memory (pre-coffee brain lag)- how old is the dog? How long have you had her? Are you tethering her? What exactly are you doing right now to curb the dominance?

The trainer could have found a better way to say that. I don't necessarily agree fully with what he said either. I don't know the full story but if you get into a set routine with the dog, and continue clear leadership indefinitely, then I don't think its going to be a STRUGGLE your whole life. It takes maintenance though. So yes, you'll have to be careful that the dog is maintained properly so she doesn't decide one day that you aren't a fit leader. But I think that could apply to men, women, kids, or anyone. I've seen it all.

 Quote: Lauren Jeffery

A second trainer basically told me that I didn't do my self any favors by selecting a female puppy. He said that as a single woman selecting a female with this personality I have subjected myself to life long dominance struggles.

Is this true?

It may sound silly, but I felt as though the trainer was just being sexist. I didn't go beyond an evaluation with him because I didn't like him for a lot of other reasons, but I'm starting to wonder if he was right about this.

I am hoping your trainer was just having a hard time communicating to you that he felt you made a selection that didn't compliment your training skills and personality. The gender thing is a myth, but a dog being a bad match sometimes happens. You can try to work by it but depending on your skills, personality, home life, and the temperament of the dog it can be a long road. Zero to do with gender being what it is but a lot having to do with behaviors which may or may not be gender related if that makes sense.

Your dog doesn't particularly sound like a dominant or rank dog. Just a dog that needs a consistent firm handler and a bit more structure. If you're not a person who wants or expects that as their homelife with their dog then yes, I can see it being a frustrating struggle.

I think what the trainer was trying to say was that with a very strong-willed dog, a same-sex dog/handler team can have more power struggles. I do NOT believe this is a myth. I tend to prefer very strong dogs, and my males are great- they're terrible w/other men, however, in terms of respect. My females are nowhere near as responsive to me and as willing as my males (without maintenance). They are both very strong personalities, and will always always always try to test me and see how serious I am. The boys just do what I ask, although the same dogs won't even platz for a man.

I think the gender thing comes into play with CERTAIN types of dogs/personalities.

Capri is very much like this, and I wondered if my German was just horrible for the first few weeks I had her, because she largely ignored what I said. We've rectified this, but her female pups are all giving absolute HELL to the women in the house, and are just sweetheart puppies to the men. The men tell me the pup is the most obedient pup they've ever worked, and teh women tell me they've never met such monsters. The husbands of course find this hilarious, the wives not so much.

My point- don't let this scare you or change your mind- rise to the challenge. It doesn't have to be this way and can always be gotten past, but I don't think you should be so quick to dismiss it as a total myth; unless all my dogs are freaks, it's not a myth. I have seen it more in one type dog, however, so it's possible someone who likes a different type dog will never see it. FWIW, I have not seen it in my smaller, pet type dogs at all. It's primarily my GSDs, and particular lines at that. I do think that it is helpful to keep in mind that this may be a part of your relationship, however, so that you don't get down on yourself or discouraged. Just work on getting past it. Once you're there, you'll find that these relationships/bonds are extra strong. JMO.

 Quote: melissa thom

I am hoping your trainer was just having a hard time communicating to you that he felt you made a selection that didn't compliment your training skills and personality.

This makes me feel better. Part of the reason I felt the trainer was being sexist is that he was too quick to assume that I am a dog owner who spoils my dog, is guilty of having an anthropomorphic attitude, and blankets problem situations rather than dealing with them.

None of this could be further from the truth.

He had a very "Silly girl!" attitude towards me.

 Quote: jenni williams

My point- don't let this scare you or change your mind- rise to the challenge. It doesn't have to be this way and can always be gotten past, but I don't think you should be so quick to dismiss it as a total myth; unless all my dogs are freaks, it's not a myth. I have seen it more in one type dog, however, so it's possible someone who likes a different type dog will never see it. FWIW, I have not seen it in my smaller, pet type dogs at all. It's primarily my GSDs, and particular lines at that. I do think that it is helpful to keep in mind that this may be a part of your relationship, however, so that you don't get down on yourself or discouraged. Just work on getting past it. Once you're there, you'll find that these relationships/bonds are extra strong. JMO.

This also makes me feel better. I can see exactly what you are saying in my relationship with my dog, and the way she is with the men in my life.

An example, I give my dog a command :
Me:"Tasha heel"
she walks ten feet in a heel and then starts to get out in front again.
Me: "No" with a simultaneous correction.

She heels until here is a big distraction of some sort, and I give her another
reminder.

My dad takes the leash:
"Tasha heel"
and she does.

My dog does come from a long lineage of tough dogs. She's a Grim great grand daughter, and only has one dog with less than a SchH 3 on her dads side. But she is one of the softer females from her litter, suited to club level SchH at most. I have decided that since its iffy I would rather not do any sort of protection work with her. She would probably excel in tracking.

I am absolutely willing to do the work. Its nice to know that this can be overcome.

 Quote: Jessica Pedicord

I will answer your questions with questions! Refresh my memory (pre-coffee brain lag)- how old is the dog? How long have you had her? Are you tethering her? What exactly are you doing right now to curb the dominance?

My dog is almost 11 months old.

She does wear a drag leash in the house. I correct her quickly with a prong collar for bossy behavior. If she is being too demanding she goes in he crate and gets ignored. She has to wait in a sit or a down for basically everything. I also have her do a long down everyday, usually while I prepare dinner.

 Quote: melissa thom

Your dog doesn't particularly sound like a dominant or rank dog. Just a dog that needs a consistent firm handler and a bit more structure. If you're not a person who wants or expects that as their homelife with their dog then yes, I can see it being a frustrating struggle.

She sounds just like my dog at 10 months now...

 Quote: lauren jeffery

My dog is almost 11 months old.

She does wear a drag leash in the house. I correct her quickly with a prong collar for bossy behavior. If she is being too demanding she goes in he crate and gets ignored. She has to wait in a sit or a down for basically everything. I also have her do a long down everyday, usually while I prepare dinner.

I am doing those very things, as well, and I consider my dog strong willed but not dominant. She does like to sass me. My husband calls her a cream puff because she also wants to be next to me at all times. Soo, IMO you are doing what you need to do, and gender shouldn't really be a huge factor, because you don't sound like "a silly girl" to me. There is just no relaxing on being the pack leader at this age.

Thanks Marcia

From what you say your dog seems to have exactly the same personality as mine. Sometimes a little devil, but at the core a good dog who follows you like a shadow and loves on you.

Its good to know that you go through the same thing. Sometimes its really hard because its just me and her, and if I'm ever really tired from work or not having a good day her behavior gets worse.

I have gotten really good at not losing my cool and just doing it. I have to admit there have been a few times that I have just lost it and flipped out on her, but of course that proved to be completely ineffective.

I knew to expect it to be hard sometimes, especially around this age. I just posted this morning because that trainers comment keeps running through the back of my mind, and because of what he said I sometimes worry about what it will be like when she hits maturity.

Also, the other trainer (who I am friends with) answers everything with "Well, thats about leadership.". It can be exasperating at times to know that is in fact the answer, but I don't know what else to do. I already follow all the advice out there about assuming the leadership role.

Thanks again

Lauren, have you read the e-books about pack structure here on Leerburg? If not, click the the free e-book link on the left of the page.

My 14mo. old, unaltered, male is bossy, pushy, obnoxious, independent, territorially aggressive/protective, and shows quite a few dominant tendencies. He's really submissive with me and less so with my wife. Aside from what you do, it's how you do it. For example, my wife tries to do everything with him the same way I do but, she puts herself more on a playmate level in general so he shows her a fair amount of disrespect.