OK, so Paul was working nights and it was rainy and icky outside. I sat on the bed, surrounded by the dogs, and wrote the following. Hope you get a little giggle out of it
A Day In The Life Of A Malinois
6:26am Wake up in the morning—promptly at 6:26. It MUST be precisely 4 minutes before the alarm goes off.
6:27-6:28am Absolutely INSIST on going outside IMMEDIATELY!!!
6:28-6:30am Stand on Lady’s head until she gets up.
6:30-6:35am Once outside, insist on getting back into the house. Stand in front of door and jump into the window at least twice per second.
6:35-6:40am Back inside the house, take a nice big drink out of the toilet and drool a trail back to the bed.
6:40-6:42am Search the remnants of the messy bed for favorite pillow.
6:42-6:45am Find pillow and REJOICE!! Then shake it to death and take to the Lady in the shower. Drop it in the tub.
6:45-6:47am Bark at towels hanging on the towel rack for good measure.
6:47-6:50am Search house for prowlers and other stuff running amok.
6:50-6:55am Find Lady’s favorite shoes. These MUST be kept safe. Take one shoe to crate and cover with blanket. Go back for other shoe.
6:55-6:57am Get distracted by bird in the window. Bark madly and chase bird away.
6:57-7:00am Watch Lady dash wildly through house. She’s acting oddly today—good thing her shoe is safely tucked in the crate.
7:00-7:05am Listen to some crazy muttering from the Lady. Bark back at her. Smile.
7:05-7:12am Go outside again since the Lady insists. Dig a small hole.
7:12-7:15am Back in the house, watch the Lady get ready to leave. Jump on her just before she gets to the door. Leave a small paw print on her coat.
7:15-7:20am Patrol the house for prowlers.
7:20-7:45am Watch neighborhood through window. Pull down fabric things hanging in window – they are really in the way. Shake them to death to teach them a lesson.
7:45-8:00am Return to window. Bark.
8:00-10:00am Bark at birds, squirrels, people on the sidewalk….
10:00-12:00pm Continue to bark.
12:00-2:00pm MAILMAN!!!! Bark some more.
2:00-3:00pm Roll on bed to scratch back. Mess up blankets.
3:00-5:00pm Bark at the little kids walking home from school.
5:00-6:00pm Bark some more.
6:00-6:10pm Keys in the door—HAPPY BARKS!!!!! Lady is home!!!!!
6:10-6:15pm Jump on lady and dash out the door.
6:15-6:45pm Play “catch me if you can” with Lady.
6:45-6:50pm Win game and follow Lady back into house.
6:50-7:00pm Circle Lady continuously while she makes dinner.
7:00-7:00pm Dash to crate when she picks up dinner bowl.
7:00-7:01pm Race back to Lady when she does not appear in 1.2 seconds.
7:01-7:05pm Run figure eights around Lady’s legs all the way to crate so she does not get lost on the way.
7:05-7:05pm Gulp dinner. Tasting is a waste of time.
7:05-7:10pm Get drink of water out of toilet. Drool on Lady’s feet.
7:10-8:00pm Find toys and destroy them to show Lady prowess at hunting.
8:00-8:30pm Take Lady’s favorite toy- the TV remote- and play “catch me if you can” again.
8:30-8:35pm Give Lady back toy, with a few new bite marks for good measure.
8:35-9:00pm Search house for enemies. Bark at towels in the bathroom.
9:00-9:30pm Time to go outside again. Bark at all the enemies in the dark. Especially the car… it must be taught a lesson.
9:30-9:45pm See that the Lady is sad. Bring her shoe out from crate. Smile. Give big kisses.
9:45-9:50pm Jump on bed as Lady gets changed.
9:50-9:55pm Stretch across the pillow and groan.
9:55-9:56pm Move slightly in response to Lady jabbing in the ribs.
9:56-12:00am Keep guard over Lady while she sleeps.
12:00-1:00am Bark at odd sounds.
1:00-2:00am Patrol the house.
2:00-6:15am Go back to the bed. Stretch out and guard the Lady lying on back.
6:15-6:26am Sleep.
6:26am Wake up precisely 4 minutes before the alarm goes off….
You know you're bored when....
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