The other day I was at my aunts house with my family, and I watched her abuse her dog. Yeah, it was tough to see. It's amazing to me how uneducated people are about dog training. How can it feel right to hit your dog with your fists?

What happened was, she had noticed her dog had pooped on the patio and went outside, way after the fact, and went and rubbed his nose in it. Scolded her and hit her head fairly hard while she was doing it. I really never had the opportunity to explain why that wouldn't work, without embarrassing her, so I'm venting here with all of you.

Sad stuff.

Spencer, I know this was an awkward moment - an "authority figure" and family member doing something like this in front of you, but I don't think her embarrassment was the most important issue at hand... JMHO. Although that particular situation is done and nothing can change it, perhaps getting her some information together and sitting down and quietly talking with her about it now might open her mind a bit. I personally couldn't sit and watch it happen, but I DO understand what an awkward situation it was... I(I guess I'm just "old enough" to not care what people think of me in situations like that).

Perhaps an "AUNT BARB! Let me help you with that!" would have stopped her and allowed you to explain... ??

Edited by Barbara Schuler (07/04/2010 11:04 AM)
Edit reason: last thought at end

 Quote: barbara schuler

... Perhaps an "AUNT BARB! Let me help you with that!" would have stopped her and allowed you to explain... ??

That sounds good.

It's hard to stop and think that if we make the person defensive, chances are that it will rebound directly on the dog -- if not then, then later.

Sometimes I just say "I used to think that too: that showing the dog a mess later and punishing him would be clear to him; I was so glad to learn from training books and videos that the dog doesn't understand anything about that except that his human does random bad things to him. Now I .... "

Even though I don't think I ever did think that, I can say so for the sake of that dog and not encountering a majorly defensive "F... you!" reaction from angry embarrassment and maybe shame.

That is sad.

What makes me even more sad is that what I have found is that people who do this kind of stuff usually think of using a crate as mean. and a drag line as ridiculous.

Explain to her why what she is doing is cruel, that the dog has no idea of why she is so angry. She will probably say that the dog knows he did wrong because he looks "guilty". Be prepared to explain that the dog doesn't know what guilt is!

I would bet three weeks to a month of simply not letting the dog poop on the deck would fix the problem forever.

It was in front of a lot of family and there was literally no way for me to remedy the situation there. The majority of people I have talked to about dog training do think "crating" is just mean. It's hard to reach someone who doesn't care. I'm fairly positive that she has the stance of "it's just a dog don't be ridiculous."

I also don't have a close enough relationship to say a whole lot anyways. It's hard to tell people things about how they raise their dogs and kids. You know?

I was at a conference once where it was stated that "potty issues" are actually a leading cause of death, due to PTS, by owners who just could never understand how to train the behavior that they wanted.

Yeah, I understand.

I have a friend that raised her dog with no real obedience training and old school methods like your aunt uses. She is always pressuring me not to crate my dog and to let her off leash in public. She has also cringes at the prong collar and advocates a good spanking.

My dog has graduated to being off leash in the house when we are alone, but she still drags a line when I have company. When this friend comes over she always says "Why is she on leash in the house?". I have explained a million times that she is on leash so that I can simply grab the dog and stop her from doing things that are not allowed rather than punishing.

"Awl thats silly. Just give her a swat on the butt!"

She doesn't get that not only is spanking ineffective, but I have a dog that could likely grow up to fight back one day if treated unfairly.

(I made the mistake of yelling at my dog once, and I will never do it again. She barked at me for 5 minutes straight! Spanking is not going to happen).

She used to do what your aunt did every day when she would come home from work. Her dog was never completely house trained. My dog hasn't peed or pooped in the house in for almost 10 months now.

I love this friend to death, and I just shrug off her suggestions. But it would be hard for me if she gets another dog to not say anything, but thats what I will do unless asked for advice.

What are you going to do? People will stick to what they know most of the time.

I had an insurance adjuster here last week that told me he whamped his cat (only took one time) to teach him not to step off the patio when they let him outside. I just looked at him & asked him how that was working for him. He said that the cat doesn't like to go out there anymore anyway. Geee ya think?!!! I didn't even want to know what he is doing with his Westie that he inherited from his inlaws when they moved. :-(

I guess I'm a meanie. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying "Oh my God....what are you DOING?!". I'm not so good with people, I guess.

 Quote: kristel smart

I guess I'm a meanie. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying "Oh my God....what are you DOING?!". I'm not so good with people, I guess.

I'd have to say something .. I know that.