I have a situation where a family member owns an older Boxer who hasn't often socialized with children. She has been very good in the past when we have visited, but last weekend we were at a family function and things were different. The dog solicits attention from the kids, but mine have instructions not to pet her because I understand the potential danger of young children's quick movements and unfamiliar dogs. My 3 yr old was standing by me and the dog approached. She jumped up on the counter and my son put his hand up to sheild her from his face. (Not a proper reaction I know, but is was instinctive for him as she is so big) The dog snapped at him, only missing his face by less than an inch. My SIL responded with "What did he DO to her? Did he poke her?!? She had been put away once but let out shortly after because they don't like to confine her. I have offered to host the next get-together; citing I have lots of toys to keep the 7 youngsters occupied while the adults talk, but she declined because she likes hosting. I know she is going to be defensive if I mention the "incident" and blame us for not watching close enough, but bites happen so fast and there was zero time to react. We can't avoid family functions forever. HELP!!! Neither the kids or her dog deserve to be put in this situation.

Tactfully say that you can only attend if the dog is kept locked in another room of the house. If the dog is let out, gather your family and leave. They will figure out you are serious and mean it, and will either accomodate your request or you'll be missing lots of family gatherings.

You can only control your behavior - not someone elses's.

If they can't call their dog away from a child then they need to obedience train her. If they don't want to train her to where they can tell her "leave it" or "off" when she gets too close to the kids, she needs to be put in a crate.

There is no tactful way to say it. People are as sensitive to criticism about their dogs as they are about their children.

If you really want to avoid the confrontation, invite them to your house from now on.

 Quote:

I know she is going to be defensive if I mention the "incident" and blame us for not watching close enough, but bites happen so fast and there was zero time to react. We can't avoid family functions forever. HELP!!! Neither the kids or her dog deserve to be put in this situation.

I would wait until I was having a really good day and had taken an extra dose of tactful pills and then would try and approach it as toddlers and dogs are not always a good match and we need to protect them both from each other. If you don't get sucked into the assign blame game you may get her to see that it is to protect her dog as much as your child if the dog is kept separate.

Something along the line that you want both of you to be able to relax and enjoy the gathering..

Good luck!

I always have problems with these post because I can't see this being any more difficult to deal with than a family member leaving guns and knives laying out when my kid and I are over.

The answer to the above scenario seems like such a no brainer.

Either the problem is resolved or it isn't.

I don't know your SIL, brother, or other family members, so I don't know how I would approach those individuals.

Good luck, and I hope for a peaceful resolution. Family is important to me, too. But I know it is also important to my family members, and they would be as no brainer as me when it came to a cut and dry matter such as this.

The owner needs to understand her HUGE liability here.

But I think I might also sneak in a little fibbing bit about my own kids just not being trustworthy yet around dogs, so the dog needs to be confined when they are there, to allow her to save a little face. I like this, too: "... toddlers and dogs are not always a good match and we need to protect them both from each other."

Still, bottom line is, my kids are not there if the dog who has snapped is out. Period. No compromises.

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

But I think I might also sneak in a little fibbing bit about my own kids just not being trustworthy yet around dogs, so the dog needs to be confined when they are there, to allow her to save a little face.

I really like this, too.

Not a fib, either, IMO. All kids are evil and not to be trusted.

 Quote: michael_wise

... Not a fib, either, IMO. All kids are evil and not to be trusted.

Well, yeah.

Especially when they hit the double digit ages.

I like how Judge Judy explains how you know when teenagers are lying.

"Their lips are moving."

 Quote: connie sutherland

I think I might also sneak in a little fibbing bit about my own kids just not being trustworthy yet around dogs, so the dog needs to be confined when they are there, to allow her to save a little face. I like this, too: "... toddlers and dogs are not always a good match and we need to protect them both from each other."

Still, bottom line is, my kids are not there if the dog who has snapped is out. Period. No compromises.

I think this would be easier if my own dogs weren't constantly at my kids' feet! The difference is that my dogs get put away if they get riled, and the kids are "grounded" from dog time if they act inappropriately. If this were my family I'd tell her to put the dog away because it just isn't working. I put mine away becaue my Aussie's blue eye creeps my mom out but it's my husbands family and they are great at tip-toing around problems or pretending they don't exist. I guess it's just time for me to put on my big girl pants and address it. No compromises. I think I will use the some dogs and toddlers are not a good match line and add that it isn't far to the dog, who lives in a silent house, to be subjected to the stress of all these little bodies.

 Quote: connie sutherland

 Quote: michael_wise

... Not a fib, either, IMO. All kids are evil and not to be trusted.

Well, yeah.

Especially when they hit the double digit ages.

I like how Judge Judy explains how you know when teenagers are lying.

"Their lips are moving."

Even my angels can go from "nice doggie" to "I wonder what Haz would do if I tried to crawl under him" in 2.5. Love the Judge Judy quote Oh boy, I can't wait until mine are teens *shudders*