My heart is breaking as I write this...
My mom has a condition that has worsened over the last few months and this has made caring for Tanner, (her 85 lb rescue lab) next to impossible. With his bolting, he could literally rip her muscles in half. She knows that she can't keep him in her house due to the risk of severe lasting injuries he could accidentally cause her and it is tearing her apart.
He will not do well being rehomed. He will shut down 100% as he did before and does in new situations. The HS nearly put him down because of his fear. This is most likely his fate if he is returned.
I want to take him so badly, as I know I can provide what he needs and he spends quite a bit of time here to run in the yard and play. I cannot have 4 full time dogs though. It is just too much and it's eating me alive. I would never consider rehoming one of my dogs...until now.
I am bashing myself for even considering this, but I know of 3 good homes off hand who are pet free and would take my Golden, Bella in a heart beat so I could take Tanner and save him. I know Bella would be much happier as an only dog, but she is mine and I don't know what to do. I love Tanner as I would my own and am just devistated at the cards we have been dealt here.
What would you do in this situation? I am stuck between "you can't save 'em all" and making a really difficult choice to try.
I'm headed over to take Tanner for a long walk and try to figure this out, but some advice is greatly needed here. (no worries, you won't offend me. I know there is going to be passion on both sides of this.)

" I know of 3 good homes off hand who are pet free and would take my Golden, Bella in a heart beat so I could take Tanner and save him. I know Bella would be much happier as an only dog, but she is mine and I don't know what to do. I love Tanner as I would my own .... "

I might do that.

And if Bella can be visited occasionally, I can tell you as a foster person that no, it's not "confusing." The dog (IMHO) comes to accept that s/he has an extended family and home, to put human terms to a hard-to-explain thing. No abandonment, no desertion ..... and of course always keep visits very upbeat and matter-of-fact and cheerful. And the dog is happy to see the "old" people and also happy to remain with the "new" ones.

For some dogs the difference in quality of life by being an only dog is night and day.

If Bella is one of these dogs you will not be doing her any disservice at all by giving her the home that will allow her to be everything that she has the potential to be.

And the peace of mind you will be able to give your mom--priceless.

What you are proposing and considering to do is a wonderful and selfless act, your mum will have some peace of mind and Tanner will have a loving and secure home for the rest of his life, I can only imagine the ache in your heart where Bella is concerned, but you know she will have an equally happy and peaceful life, I hope you get a ton of support for this bitter-sweet dilema, passions do run high where the welfare of dogs is concerned, but to understand the awful situation you face, we would have to walk a mile in your shoes, and no one can do that...

If you get to keep in touch with Bella that would be a big bonus, if for whatever reason that can't be done, you know she will be cared for in the way you would expect, you are lucky to have the option of three good homes, take that as a sign you are doing the right thing, I admire what you are hoping to do for your mum and her beloved tanner.

My heart goes out to you, and agree that placing your Golden in a loving home would be a blessing to her, as you believe she would be happier as an only dog. The blessings to your mother, as already mentioned, priceless, and what an amazing gift. Your stress levels would also be decreased as.you would not have the fear of your mom being accidentally injured by her dog.

Best of luck in your decision.

Is there anyway that your mom could take Bella and you could take Tanner?

What a difficult decision...

I have not personally rehomed a dog, but know someone who rehomed her GSD to another friend. It was such a blessing for everyone involved.

Oh, Amy, my heart goes out to you....

This is a very difficult decision for you to make.. but in your heart, you know what you will do. Giving Bella to another will tear you up, but I don't think you will regret it in the end.

Bella will have a wonderful home as the only dog.. I have no doubts that you will pick her new home with utmost care. Tanner will be able to live with you and not be in danger of being PTS. Your mom will be able to visit with you, your dogs, and Tanner without being worried that he will accidentally injure her.

I can't even imagine what your mom is going through... it would absolutley kill me if I had to give up my dogs and know that their fate would be death in a shelter... the peace of mind that your taking Tanner would give her is truly priceless.

I agree with Connie, visiting with Bella in her new home will not confuse her, and she will enjoy seeing you. I take Toni, Caterina, and Drift back to Leerburg often to see Ed and Cindy. They are happy to visit with them, but they know they live with me now.

Amy, whatever you choose, you have our support. Re-homing a dog, or surrendering a dog to a shelter are never things to be taken lightly. We all know that you appreciate the seriousness of the sitiuation, and that you will choose wisely.

--Kel

Wow, thanks so much for the support ladies! I am really struggling right now with the idea that Bella would not be a part of my every day life. It has been an evening of tears and snuggles and me questioning if I am strong enough to do this. She really will be the perfect dog for the families I have talked to. Melissa, sadly my mom won't be able to take Bella, as she is such an under foot dog that it could be just as dangerous for her.
I'm trying not to doubt myself in my ability to own 3 young, male dogs (who have gotten along in play and passing, but...) It is a little daunting. Tanner will be the oldest at about 3.5, Haz is 2.5 and Dieks is 15 months. On a practical side, am I asking for big trouble? Not that it will sway me not to take him, but it will help me form a management plan, timeline etc. T. and Haz are good together, but adding 1 more is going to rock it a bit. I guess I'll just go about introductions like I did when Dieks entered the picture and take it from there.
It is going to be a rough week, but hoping to get the kids to be ok with this change and Bella's new family narrowed down by the end of the week. Time for the kleenex, and then the big girl panties.

Is there a reason the dog can't be trained?

Al, Tanner is a severely abused rescue. He will never be a normal, trainable dog. Even a ball of tin foil where it should be can send him running. Though he can be managed with a stable (strong) house. He is a really loving, happy dog under the right circumstances, but the bolting is something that just can't be fixed, unfortunately.