I don't know if I can do this anymore.

I posted a goodbye to my Wolfhound here 8.5 years ago. At that time I had just gotten my first German Shepherd puppy. His name was Apollo.

Apollo took care of me during the very difficult time I had when I lost my Wolfhound. He was only a puppy but as we bonded his love for me became very evident and profound.

As the years went by, I trained him with the help of the wonderful videos from Ed, although many times I think it was Apollo training me. We became inseperable. We stayed inseperable.

To make a long story short, he had some problems with his leg. They went away quickly. Then just last week I noticed him having some shortness of breath. I took him to the vet and got xrays. They found some spots on his lungs, but wanted me to see a specialist for a better look. It was cancer. It had most likely been hiding in his leg/shoulder then spread to his lungs.

He never showed any signs of discomfort, even though the specialist told me there was hardly and good lung tissue left. He never wanted to show me the least bit of pain or suffering.

Yesterday, I held him in my arms as he was put to rest. He was almost 9 years old. I have been crying so hard and so often that my stomach muscles ache and are worn out.

We never spent a single night apart. In the entire almost nine years he was with me, we always slept together, never seperated. Last night was the first night I have spent alone in an empty house.

The pain of losing my Wolfhoud all those years ago, and now the fresh pain of losing Apollo yesterday, makes me question getting another one. However, deep down, I know I probably will. Most of the best moments of my 42 year so far have been spent with one or the other of my dogs.

I would like to thank Ed,Connie and so many others on this board for answering all of my questions regarding his health, training, nutrition and so many other things over the years. I know he appreciated it too.

I will miss my boy. So very much.

Lee

What a wonderful tribute from the heart for a wonderful boy. I'm so very sorry for your pain. May each day bring you closer to healing where you can find comfort in your memories of a life shared.

Very sorry for your loss, Lee.

I'd like to steal once again something another board member, Bob Scott, has said: "They are worth every tear."

Think of the eight years of companionship and affection and joy he brought to you, and vice versa. His death surely can't be more important than the eight years themselves. No. The blessing of his life on your life, not the fact that he has now died (as we all do), is what really matters.

It's a miracle to me, that we can have love with a different species. We are so incredibly fortunate.

But we all know that first overwhelming pain.

 Quote: Betty Waldron

What a wonderful tribute from the heart for a wonderful boy. I'm so very sorry for your pain. May each day bring you closer to healing where you can find comfort in your memories of a life shared.

Yes.

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

I'd like to steal once again something another board member, Bob Scott, has said: "They are worth every tear."

Think of the eight years of companionship and affection and joy he brought to you, and vice versa. His death surely can't be more important than the eight years themselves. No. The blessing of his life on your life, not the fact that he has now died (as we all do), is what really matters.

It's a miracle to me, that we can have love with a different species. We are so incredibly fortunate.

But we all know that first overwhelming pain.

 Quote: Betty Waldron

What a wonderful tribute from the heart for a wonderful boy. I'm so very sorry for your pain. May each day bring you closer to healing where you can find comfort in your memories of a life shared.

Yes.

So well said, Connie and Bob and Betty,could not have said it better.
Lee, I am so very sorry for your profound loss, my thoughts are with
you.

Lee,
I am so sorry for your loss. Take some time to mourn and heal. Your heart will let you know when you are ready. You and a very lucky dog will be blessed again in the future.

Lee, my heart breaks for you. Your post brings back bittersweet memories of my lost canine loves.

When the time is right, I do pray that you will be blessed again with a special new companion, it sounds as if you are truely deserving that special connection.

May you heal thouroughly and soon.

So very, very sorry for your loss - rest in the sunshine at the bridge Apollo.

Sorry to hear of your loss Lee.

Connie's and Betty's words pretty much captured it best, Lee. I am so sorry for your loss. At the same time, sounds like you and both your dogs have been blessed by having each other in your lives. Treasure the great memories and the bond you both enjoyed and hopefully the pain will lessen over time. Something tells me that at some point, another pup will come along in your life and make you whole again.