On December 19th, 2015, I had to let my beloved mare Breeze go to the Bridge. It was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make.

Breeze was with me for 27 years… I bought her as a 17th birthday present to myself. She was 3, unbroke, and unruly. I loved her from the first moment I set eyes on her.

We learned a lot together, whether we wanted to or not. She was my eventer, jumping whatever I set her in front of with ease, with never a thought that she couldn’t make it. She had attitude, and would routinely bite me in the ass to keep me in line.

She gave me 2 fillies – Sweet and Dancer. We tragically lost Dancer in an accident when she was 3, but Sweet is still out there, living the life of leisure with a friend of mine.

On Friday, December 10th, Breeze had what I thought was an ulcer flare up. I treated her for that, but she did not get better. On Sunday, I had the vet come out and she was treated aggressively for bacterial infection, ulcer, and inflammation of the gut. She ate a bit Monday night and Tuesday morning, and I thought she was out of the woods. I was wrong.

She stopped eating again, and on the 18th, she whinnied to me as I went to lead her into the barn. I knew in my heart that she would never walk back out to join the boys… the next morning, she lay down and would not get up.

I talked with her, heart to heart. She let me know that she was ready to go. 30 years was a long time, and she missed Red and Dancer. She wanted to be with them again. I let her go.
The tears I shed are for my loss, not hers. That does not make the pain any less, or take the heartache away.. She was my love, my girl, my BZ. She will never be forgotten.

We buried her up on the hill overlooking the pasture so that she can watch the boys and keep them in line. They miss her as well – they have been very subdued and clingy…

Her blanket hangs in the barn, over the gate, ready to be put back on her, along with her halter and lead rope, on their peg on the wall… I have not had the heart to clean them and put them away…

It has taken me this long to come to grips with it, to be able to write it down… even so, last night, I went to feed the boys and broke down and cried into Winchester’s mane…

My vet has assured me that it was most likely some form of aggressive Cancer that took her from me – and that there was really no way to treat a 30 year old horse. He says that she was relatively pain free – up to that last week, and even then, we had been liberal with the pain medication. It’s nice that he tries to make me feel better… he knows me well.

Goodbye, Beautiful BZ. You will never be forgotten – I still have the lump on my knee where you broke it. Give Red and Dancer kisses for me, and tell them that I miss them, too.

--Kel

Oh, Kelly, she was so beautiful, and I am so sorry for your painful loss. We must often say good-bye to our beloved dogs after ten or twelve years, or maybe a bit longer if they are a small breed, but a healthy horse will often live to their late twenties or early thirties. So if we are fortunate enough to own that special horse for all or most of its life, it is with us for two or three times the length of a dog's life.

You have written a beautiful tribute to her, and I know she had a happy life with you. From one horsewoman to another, I hope time will ease your pain and you will be comforted by the memories of the many years you and Breeze spent together.

Such a beautiful, elegant mare!

So sorry for your loss. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Beautiful tribute to a beautiful mare. Sending you the very best in this painful time. What a wonderful life she had with you!

Kelly, so sorry to hear you had to send your beautiful mare to the Rainbow Bridge (I'm sure there is one for horses as well as dogs). You wrote a very loving tribute to your girl and I almost feel like I know her. She sounds like a mare with alot of spunk to her and one that would have kept you on your toes.

I'm sure you gave her a wonderful life and she'll remain in your heart forever. God speed Breeze!

Very sorry to read about your loss, Kelly. Whether it's a dog or a horse, it amazes me to no end how we can have such strong bonds with them and how they leave such large, painful holes in our hearts when they leave us. It wrenches my heart just reading the beautiful tribute you wrote. Hopefully, the pain of her loss will eventually fade and be replaced by fond memories and lots of great stories. She sounds like she was a great mare and a great friend.

Oh Kelly, your poor heart, she really was a beautiful girl, and I can only imagine how hard the loss is to bear.

Sending you love, and the hope the coming months bring some relief to the pain of her passing.

We trust our hearts to our beloved animals, and we know with each one going, we will have to do it again one day, but every day we share with them is worth the tears.

Tracey xx

I've been on vacation, just read your news.

There is something absolutely heartwrenching about a down horse, an old friend especially. I am sorry for your your loss --- though glad you were able to handle this now instead of in the middle of a blizzard at night in the deep heart of winter.

Thinking of you.

I'm so very sorry, Kelly. Your post made me cry .... I can only imagine how many tears you have in your heart right now.

Love to you.

We are slowly returning to normal- the tear flow has ebbed some, anyway.

Paul and I have discussed adopting another rescued horse, as we did when we lost Red, but I need time before I go looking for another... perhaps in the spring. I will surely post pics when/if (ok, when) we get a new member of the herd.

Thank you all for your wonderful and kind words. I've said it before, but you all mean so very much to me, I am glad to call you friends.

--Kel