Hi everyone,
Thank you again for your responses. I have been thinking long and hard about what each of you have written.
Angela, I agree with you, I think it would be way too soon for me to get another dog. I’m not really interested in getting another dog at this time anyway, as I have a pretty busy schedule and a baby on the way. I would not have the time to properly train a puppy at this time. And I don’t think getting a puppy could replace my Tiny, it is a loss I am just going to have to face.

Connie, I’m sorry if I gave the impression that Tiny doesn’t have any real peace. He does. We live out in the country with acres of land, he gets training, exercise, and play time every day. We crate him up when guests come over, so he doensn’t have to stress about them either. When we are around the house, he is usually practicing a downstay in what ever room I am in. You are right, it has been stressful with him in the early years, but we are at the point now where he is very well managed, and his behavior is completely predictable so he doesn’t cause me stress. Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time dealing with my decision. The reason I am putting him down is because if he ever got aggressive again, he doesn’t not play around, he goes in for the serious kill. This all or none response for aggression is what I consider to be very dangerous and unacceptable in a companion animal. Even one incident can cost an infant’s life. And I know how long it took to get our pack structure worked out to this point, by bringing the baby into the mix, I don’t know how he would react, and I don’t want to take a chance. None the less, you are right. It is the last thing I have to do for Tiny, and it is because I want him to die with dignity rather than after a serious incident that I am doing it.

Dawn, thank you so much for your suggestion about pre-paying. I have to take my other dog into the vet 2 days before for a lepto booster, and I will certainly prepay at that time. The thought of standing at the register trying to pay after its all done is not a good one…

Candi, like I said to Connie, I hope I didn’t give the impression that Tiny didn’t have a happy life. He was my demo dog for 2 years, he gets lots of play and training time every day. When I wasn’t pregnant, he was my mountain biking and jogging partner (he is off-lead trained with an e collar), we go at least 3 miles per day, 5 days a week. We went camping countless times and he even started to learn skijoring a couple of years ago when I moved up to Ithaca. For a dog with his aggression issues, I think he leads a great life which helps me emotionally deal with my decision. But you are right, he IS capable of doing something unspeakable to my baby, which is why I decided to put him down. I know what he is capable of, and I won’t take that chance with him.

Mike, thank you for the compassion you showed in your post. I will keep what you said in mind, about the happiness and peace I will find with the new baby. In the end, I know I am doing the right thing by everyone, it just doesn’t make it any easier.

Jeanne, I am SO sorry to hear about the attack on your sister. I can’t believe it happened on your wedding day too. I agree you made the right decision about that dog. Fear issues are not easily overcome. My heart goes out to you and your family about the whole ordeal.

Anyway, thank you again everyone. I do feel better about everything. I am not sure about the vet coming to our house, I don’t know if I could deal with that either. Besides, Tiny gets go excited to go in the car, he might like it better than greeting a stranger in our yard.
I will keep you all posted.
Best,
Michelle

Oh Michelle that is a hard thing to deal with but I think your doing the right thing. My best wishes are with you and Tiny.

michelle--FWIW, as hard as it is, you're making the right decision. your Tiny has had a better 8 yrs with you than he would have had with anyone else--i can tell by your posts that you've been the extra 100 miles with him.

however, your baby HAS to come first, and you simply cannot afford to take the chance that he'll freak out with a new person in the house, from the sound of it.

my thoughts are with you-send him off peacefully (there are a lot of dogs that don't get near 8 yrs of life), it's the best thing you can do for him and YOU, in the long run.

you will fall in love like you NEVER have before with your baby (believe me--if a person could bottle that feeling, there'd be no need for nasty drugs in this world), neither you nor Tiny needs the stress that will come if you don't euthanize him. let him rest. love your baby. be easy with it--it's right. JMO...... <img src="http://www.leerburg.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Well, its done. I said goodbye to my best friend in the whole world on Monday. I am just now seeing through my tears and pain to share my experience. My faithful companion who got me through thick and thin. Tiny was so good to me, he taught me everything I know about dogs and a lot of what I know about life. I was up all Sunday night worrying about him, worrying about when I was going to do it. I went down to check on him, he was scratching uncomfortably. I put frontline on him as he has a couple of fleas. I spent from 3am until 5am grooming him, crying because I didn't want him to ich in his last days. I then decided that today was the day I had been dreading, I was really dreading loosing him, letting him go, and the fact that I spend 2 hours grooming him, I was preparing him to go comfortably. I took him out into the field by our house. We played a super game of off-leash frisbee, he even caught it twice. He got tired pretty fast but he kept on retrieving like a champ. Then I got a big waterbowl and filled it for him, he LOVES cold water. He drank up the whole bowl. So then I got my other dog Hershey and I took them both for a nice long walk around the property. They played and ate grass and groomed each other. I let them play more in the house, Tiny got so happy because he pinned her every time! So then at 7:30ish, Kern (my husband) and I got big Burger King breakfasts for everyone, I gave Tiny most of the hashbrowns and they each got a big sausage and bacon sandwich plus OJ for Tiny. I took some photos of us, and of Kern and Hershey with Tiny. My face was filled with pain and sorrow, but Tiny was smiling in all the pictures. We sat at waited for the vet to call us back with a time to come in. At 9:15, the phone rang, it was the vet. We had a half hour left. I held him and pet him and he did all his tricks. I gave him a big glob of toothpaste when I brushed my teeth, he was obsessed with mint, he loved the taste and smell. It was the happiest morning he ever had I think. By then I was pretty sad, and crying most of the time. So at 9:40 we went to the vet.
It was not easy to let him go, I was with him the whole time holding him, praying for him and comforting him. He went so peacefully, as Kern put it, the only pain in the room was our own. I kissed him as he took his last breaths, sang his favorite songs gently into his ear. He loved when I sang to him. I laid with him for sometime after it was done, stroking him, crying hard into his neck. I was mainly crying for me, because I know how much I will miss him, but I know that by doing this, I prevented a major tragedy. Since he was 6 months old and started showing his aggression, I searched furiously for the answer to the question, how can I take the aggression out of him? As I held him during his sleep, I realized that this was the only solution for Tiny, a dog who was scared of everything and reacted first with bite, then with regret. I will never get another dog like Tiny, he was the smartest dog I ever encountered. He lived life with such gusto, he had human-like intelligence. While we were training together, he KNEW he was in a lesson, he was desperate to learn everything I was trying to teach him. When he got frustrated, he would go through all his commands at once, hoping that he would nail one of them. He wasn 't perfect, no dog is, and his aggression stopped him from being able to live like a normal dog. But I tried my best to give him the best and longest life possible for a dog like Tiny. I hope he is looking down on me with understanding. I miss him so much. It is so quiet in my house. So quiet. Now I just have to pick up the pieces and move on. I put some of his precious things away, and placed that frisbee we last played with under a tree that he loved to play around.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story with you. I do not wish this on anyone. It was the worst day of my life, but now I feel like the day I dreaded for years has passed me and I can move on. Well, I'll stop now. Thank you again and please pray for Tiny and Hershey tonight in your prayers. She is very sad and lethargic, she misses her friend too. She is drinking excessively and she keeps going in and out of his crate. Together we will get through this. When I sense she is sad, I take her out to play. Playing with her is therapy for us both.
Love,
Michelle
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/MrsReeve/DSC00614.jpg

 Quote:

Well, its done. I said goodbye to my best friend in the whole world on Monday. I am just now seeing through my tears and pain to share my experience. ........As I held him during his sleep, I realized that this was the only solution for Tiny, a dog who was scared of everything and reacted first with bite, then with regret. .........Love,
Michelle
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/MrsReeve/DSC00614.jpg

You are 110% right that living with unmanageable fear is no life for the dog. You did the right thing, not just for you and your baby, but for Tiny.

And you tried to heal him. Sometimes it cannot be done, like this time. The poor guy was headed for big trouble, and now he is not.

My heart is with you as I recall holding beloved friends as they slipped into peace and out of pain. In your Tiny's case, he slipped into peace and out of fear and awful anxiety.

If only we could all go like that, with our best friend at the side, holding us and loving us.

Oh Michelle, you have me in tears as well -- Godspeed, Tiny, over the Rainbow Bridge...

http://www.leerburg.com/griefdirectory.htm

Don't hold yourself back from crying, because it's very therapeutic & now's the time for catharsis, before your baby's born -- Then if you're up to it, you can also watch a few films such as "Old Yeller", "Where the Red Fern Grows", and "Good-Bye My Lady" (I believe you'll find them both comforting & strengthening)...

My thoughts & prayers are yours as you mourn for Tiny -- When you're eventually reunited (according to my faith) he won't be afraid or aggressive anymore.

Michelle,

I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave Tiny the very best life he could have had. I'm sure he never would have made it as far as he did without your love and desire to help him. It is such a painful thing to put everything you have into saving a dog, seeing huge improvement and sadly knowing it still won't work. Your family will be in my prayers.

Jeanne

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious friend and companion.
I believe God sometimes puts certain dogs with certain people. Tiny needed you and you needed him. He'll be forever yours.

Thank you all for your kind responses. There are two large trees on the property and I find comfort going there and talking to him. Last night I took Hershey there and she laid by my feet while I told Tiny so many things I was feeling. It really helped and I didn't cry the rest of the night. Having your support means so much. Thank you again.
Love,
Michelle

Michelle I just wept uncontollably. My heart goes out to you and your family. Remember all the times with Tiny it helps...there will always be pain from missing him I think. Stay strong! Mark R.