Ms. Causey,

Two sides to the coin:
Side A - people and the various stuff that is important to them (dog as replacement, kids fear dog, parents protect kids, daughter - mom relationship, etc.)
Side B - dog and people

Side B - You need to protect your children from an environment wherein they are afraid - and you are wary - of the behavior of a dog. Period. Your children's safety is your highest priority. You can insert all kinds of stuff: safe from dog, safe from playing in the road, safe from fire, safe from poison, safe from... Your children. Your responsibility. No gray area.

To address Side A - As gently or politically correct as you wish to, engage your mother. Tell her a dog that has been in her world for 30 days is not trained, or adjusted to her world yet. It is certainly not adjusted to distractions. It is not rational or reasonable to bring in a dog to the house and assume all will be well. Tell her whatever you wish but do not gloss over your responsibility - Side B - to protect your children (and it is her responsibility, too). People before dog.

Lots of feelings and emotions, daughter and mother, mother recently a widow, holiday emotions, really ugly experience - bloody child, etc.

Cut to the chase: your children. Your mother can understand or not. Dog in a crate or in another room or some where removed from the children until or if ever the dog is proven to be more reliable... My rule: once OK - twice my fault.

That you have any anxiety is that it is your mother. If it was a neighbor or stranger the issue would already be resolved on your terms.

Circumstances make no difference. The outcome is all you need to consider to make decisions. Your daughter is the only victim. Period.

Bluntly, if it had been my child the dog would have been lucky to survive.

I have dealt with many rescue dogs, you cant always tell their temperment right off the bat. Any good dog owner & professional will tell you first off, dog selection is key. You just never know what you are getting with rescue dogs, & unless you are really good at spotting behavior signs, then rescue dogs are not my recomendation. I would ask your mom to consider getting a puppy from a reputable breeder to replace this dog, then find this dog a new home. It bit once, it will bite again .... my opinion. The reason it bit dont matter much, bottom line is, it cannot happen again.
At least a week before you go pick up the puppy, order some Leerburg DVDs about puppy training, the 8 weeks to 8months, & the Pack Structure DVD. Watch the DVD's before you get the puppy, there is a ton of stuff to learn and decisions to be made if you want to bring it home to a great environment.
Make sure you get a breed that your mom will be comfortable with & that "fits her".
You also need to spend time with your kids, explaining to them how they must respect & treat the dog, & that there will be some rules around the puppy. For instance, The hardest with small kids is the "DO NOT RUN" rule. Puppies chase, puppies bite. No teasing the puppy etc. There are many rules you need to establish with the kids to make a good relationship for everyone. Everytime you go visit, take some treats, let each of the kids give the puppy some treats, this is a real easy way to begin a bonding process.
Otherwise grandma would have to visit my house & the dogs not invited, sry mom.
Hope this works out for you. I was terrified of dogs as a small boy, until I was 7. Yes I remember to this day what that was like. Thanks to my Uncle & a Black Lab named Butch, I got over that fear & have come to own & train many great friends over the years. My hope is that this dont affect your daughter as much as it may your mom. Thats why I suggest getting a puppy, so everyone can start fresh.

just another reason I hate little foo foo dogs

 Quote: jenni williams

This is easy. Sue your mom. LOL.

Joking...

Yeah I was thinking the same thing sue Mom especially if the child was disfigured in any way. I wouldn't be "joking" .. Really it should not be anything personal but the cold hard educational reality of liability on your mothers part.

First having brung a new dog (and a unknown rescue to boot) into a new strange environment oblivious to the fact that young children will want to interact with 'fluffy' with no safety net flying by the seat of her pants so to speak is bad enough. A dog on a lap will 'see' someone reaching to pet it as a threat to it's master and will protect. Not to say that it is right, but it is reality to the dog sad to say. Obviously your Mom doesn't have a clue on how to read the dog and I bet hasn't done any type of OB training with the dog since she has brought it home.

Not to say that the OP is NOT without fault herself by allowing the interaction without understanding that same safety net. Education is key here for the OP, her Mom and sadly the child as well.

To the OP, your Mom sounds selfish and unreasonable and would continue to put your kids in danger without a further education. This dog has bitten once and will bite again in a similar situation no doubt.

I know hindsight is 20 20 but you are well within your rights to 'insist' that the dog is crated when your kids are out and about. I'd also insist that your Mom take some classes with a professional trainer someone who has experience with dog aggression.

If your Mom won't do it well your are the parent of YOUR kids and the primary protector. So you have to do what its right for you and your kids, the kids have to come first always. Being a parent myself I wouldn't hesitate. Really who cares about a dog and your Mother's feelings when your kids are involved. If your Mom won't step up well you have to.

The victim here is your daughter, as not only is she scarred she is scared as well. I'd really try to get her into seeing a therapy dog or a slobbering Labrador that loves to run after tennis balls so her fear doesn't fester into something that is unrealistic that she carries around for the rest of her life. You need to help her get back on that horse, sooner than later. As there was a reason why she pet the dog in the first place .. damn it .. she likes dogs .. and there shouldn't be a reason why she shouldn't.

Lisa,
You let your kids face near a 1 month rescues face? If you're looking to place blame i'd say you and your mother share equally.

Instead of avoiding the situation next time you are together YOU put the leash on the dog and keep an eye on it, your mom will see it's no big deal to the dog and you'll have it under your control.

I disagree with Mr. Arnold that the dog probably shouldn't have survived, afterall , the animal doesn't know these people and it's just acting like an insecure animal acts, probably scared along with a lack of leadership ends up with the kid getting bit.

I remember once when i was about 9 or 10 getting nipped by a friend of my fathers dog and my father smacked me upside the head and said "what did you do?" He was right......we were playing rough with the dog.

Maybe you can find a local obedience class for your mom and her dog so the dog can be safe with your kids.

 Quote:

I remember once when i was about 9 or 10 getting nipped by a friend of my fathers dog and my father smacked me upside the head and said "what did you do?"

Yeah, I had more than one of these experience when I was a kid. Nobody seemed to think much of it back then (me included), but now it's a very big deal indeed.

Though I don't want to 'dis' rescue dogs (almost all of the rescues I know are fabulous dogs, and it would be sad if the difficult minority made finding a home difficult for the wonderful, deserving majority), I do agree that a month is a VERY short amount of time for a dog to be in a home, especially when the dog's background is unknown.

This dog is not only new, but living with someone who just lost her husband. I'm guessing she's coming from a very 'soft' and emotional place in general. Not a good combination and not terribly conducive to good leadership.

But now somebody has been injured and it has to change.

I absolutely do NOT recommend that someone who's failing to manage an adult lap-dog go out and get a puppy. I think that would be a mistake. The lack of structure and management will play out negatively in either case.

Management. Training needs to take place, and separation from the children. Using a crate is a very simple solution.

I agree with Geoff that the injured little girl needs to find herself a sweet, mellow dog to provide a little therapy and confidence. The frightening incident plus the drama around it could cause a lifetime of needless fear. That would be sad.

Mr. Curbow,

Fair enough.

Perhaps I over dramatized my more than likely fatherly reaction to seeing my daughter being bloodied by a dog - any dog. But then, we often regret at our leisure our immediate reactions to situations.

But the rest of my comments are reasonably valid.

As one who fosters rescues, and has adopted rescues, I am indeed aware of issues associated with bringing a dog into a home and exposing it to distractions and people. I would agree with you that it is up to all the reasonable and rational adults to protect children from possible danger.

Where we might disagree is the amount of effort I would expend in trying to facilitate my children's interaction with the dog. Or the amount of effort I would engage in in trying to convert my mother.

I'm not much into blame shareing. If it is my dog it is my problem, and my children are my responsibility. That said, stuff happens. But as I noted, once OK, twice my fault.

Interesting discussion. Enjoyed all of the comments.

My son is visiting with his 11 and 2 y.o. Taught the 11 y.o. how to take a leadership role with my pack of 7 Labs (all of them are inside dogs) and he is great! They do what he asks and follow him everywhere. Make you wonder why so many adults cannot lead dogs.

I watch the dogs and the 2 y.o. carefully. Told him not to run (to not trigger any prey drive) and he and his dad have done very well. Carefully watched his interaction with the dogs and they have not been stressed at all. As good as the dogs are, I still am careful because they are my dogs in my house and they are -- well, they are dogs.

The 2 y.o. is sure a lot better than the kids with the idiot parents who run up to a dog I am training, screaming and waving their arms. Then the parents make excuses and get mad at me when I point out that f*cking with a large carnivore like that is stupid and irresponsible! Anyway ...

Christopher Walter

It might make sense to find someone to work with your Mom. I think right now she thinks of a crate as a "cage" for little fluffy. Untaught people don't realize how beneficial a crate can be, especially in this situation. With the kids around, fluffy might like a break from all the stimulation.

If she had someone outside the family unit who was professional enough to teach her she might come around. Could be good for her grieving process as well. A little social stimulation with her new dog,and you'd be out of the equation. Maybe she'd be more apt to listen to an objective opinion.

Is everyone forgetting this dog launched a serious, unprovoked attack on a child?

An inch or so higher, and this little girl would be blind instead of just carrying of carrying life-long facial scars.

This dog has forfeited any right to draw another breath.

The original poster is very correct in that the dog -- if it allowed to live, should never be allowed to be around her's or any other children. Granny can make her own choice about the company of grandkids or nasty dogs.