The bond shared when you have mutual understanding and work together as a team is amazing. And once you experience it you want it again, it's worth the cost. As for loving my dog, well, when I got Kolt I knew I'd like having a puppy and he would be a happy, welcome diversion when I needed one. What I didn't know was how quickly and intensely that he would become *my* dog.

I get 'too' attached to every animal I've ever lived with.. one that actually communicates with me beyond 'pet me, human' and 'I WANT FOOD NOW' I have a hard time not anthropomorphizing. Chance's overnight adventure was a sleepless night for me, I already know just how hard it's going to be to lose these guys.. and I'll never not have a dog again unless I'm stuck in an old folks home.

I was a complete and utter basket case when Cat had that Pyo a while back- and again 2 months later when Toni was spayed. I can not imagine losing them after all they have given me.

Paul is just as bad as I am, though he won't admit it. It hit him hard when we lost Shyner, and she gifted us with 3 months more than she was expected to live...

When we give them our hearts, we know they will break it one day. They give us so much though, that it's worth the pain in the end.

I'm glad Pink turned up unscathed. It's scary though, when you just don't know...

my fiancée says im creepy and annoying in how much I love my malinois havoc. I remember one night we thought we had let her in the yard and then couldn't find her. I was hysterical, screaming I would never forgive him, screaming up and down the streets calling her name, I felt like I was going to vomit, never been more panicked maybe in all my life, turns out he had never let her out of the crate. Poor dog was like wtf I just held her sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. my worst fear is something happening to them coz of something I did. Losing my dog at 17 was heart breaking don't get me wrong but he had lived such a good life, it was time, it was life, losing my nine year old dutch shepherd suddenly to cancer when two weeks ago she was fine was a different kind of heart wrenching. I can barely leave my dogs with anyone, im anal about safety to a fault. I don't think I could go on if it was my fault something happened to them. I literally tell anyone I leave them with I will kill them if they let anything happen to them, pretty sure they believe me. I have notes I left for my mom when I went to camp as a kid outlining in two pages rules for how to look after my dog hahah. Crazy from birth I guess

I'm safety-conscious and very careful about who takes care of my dogs, and I say good for you.

But there's a big drawback (more than one, in fact) to screaming hysterically, sobbing and shaking, etc.

One of my major biggies among my "living with dogs" protocol is that I, the pack leader, am calm and in charge. I can be relied upon to direct and protect the dogs, and they know this, so a dog doesn't perceive that the pack leader position is empty and try to fill it.

Dogs want to follow a leader who is strong, dependable, in charge ..... this is where the security of companion dogs comes from.

You know how we talk about emotions (fear, anxiety, etc.) go down the leash to the dog?

"Poor dog was like wtf I just held her sobbing and shaking uncontrollably." This isn't the message you want your dog to perceive.

"Creepy and annoying" wouldn't be what I'd say, but "bad for the human-dog relationship," yes.

If I was stuck in a horribly painful mindset like that, I'd work on changing it, step by step. JMO!

What if the dog was seriously ill or injured and her ability to remain calm with the vet under your direction and example was crucial to the outcome? Or what if you faced an emergency euthanasia? You would want to be the soothing hand stroking the dog and the quiet voice telling her that all is well, that you are there with her.

I think you can change this.





All JMO!

She was more like wtf from us calling her and her being locked in a crate. my fiance says its creepy coz im always telling her I love her and such lol. When we had to put our dogs down I did remain calm and held it together for many a dog being euthanized coz wanted their last moments to be peaceful. A few weeks ago havoc collapsed at the dog park and yes it was hard to stay calm in that situation as I had no idea what was wrong, but managed to drive us to the vet anyway. One of my big things is staying calm and upbeat as I can when being there for euthanasia but yes in emergency situations im not really thinking am I being pack leader more like wtf is wrong with my dog omg please don't die, I don't know how one would prepare their reactions as its an unexpected event but wish I could be more calm in emergencies if that was possible.

I found that the less attached to the joys in my life...the less drama and more actual enjoyment of those things, people and animals. I've found that with less anxiety in any relationship...I am more open to its love and bliss. My dog and people respond to me differently from this perspective because love (not fear and attachment) is where your true power lies.

" ..... in emergency situations im not really thinking am I being pack leader more like wtf is wrong with my dog omg please don't die, I don't know how one would prepare their reactions as its an unexpected event but wish I could be more calm in emergencies if that was possible....."

Well, rationally, you know that remaining calm and upbeat will be the best way to think clearly, to waste as little time as possible, to help keep the dog from experiencing fear, anxiety, even panic ....

The thing is, how to set yourself up for accomplishing this goal.

I believe that if we make it a habit in less scary situations, then it will eventually carry over into more scary ones. To me, this is a really valuable habit to cultivate.

As time goes by and I have to experience more illnesses (and deaths) in my dogs, I make it a point to have as my first reaction to an unwelcome development: "What does my dog need from me right now?" That involves taking a breath and then concentrating on what the dog needs. Then two things happen: My focus changes from me to the dog, and also I realize that screaming, crying, etc., are the opposite of what my dog needs.


I'm not minimizing the effort needed. But it's a really good goal, and it expands as you stick to it.

(I'm also a fan of "fake it 'til you make it.")


JMO!

thanks connie, that's really good advice!

 Quote: Connie Sutherland

" ..... in emergency situations im not really thinking am I being pack leader more like wtf is wrong with my dog omg please don't die, I don't know how one would prepare their reactions as its an unexpected event but wish I could be more calm in emergencies if that was possible....."

Well, rationally, you know that remaining calm and upbeat will be the best way to think clearly, to waste as little time as possible, to help keep the dog from experiencing fear, anxiety, even panic ....

The thing is, how to set yourself up for accomplishing this goal.

I believe that if we make it a habit in less scary situations, then it will eventually carry over into more scary ones. To me, this is a really valuable habit to cultivate.

As time goes by and I have to experience more illnesses (and deaths) in my dogs, I make it a point to have as my first reaction to an unwelcome development: "What does my dog need from me right now?" That involves taking a breath and then concentrating on what the dog needs. Then two things happen: My focus changes from me to the dog, and also I realize that screaming, crying, etc., are the opposite of what my dog needs.


I'm not minimizing the effort needed. But it's a really good goal, and it expands as you stick to it.

(I'm also a fan of "fake it 'til you make it.")


JMO!

I totally agree with Connie on all that!!

My adult son was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (Crohn's) that has intruded on every day of his life since he was 10 (he's 27 now). I was so scared and worried when that diagnosis came. His pediatric GI dr called one night to tell me of the positive test results and when I got really anxious he said almost exactly what Connie said above. I had to learn fast that what would be most healing to him was me being calm and reassuring. I just concentrated on what he needed then, and have had to do that 15 hospital visits worth in the past 4 years! Seeing our loved ones, human or animal, in pain is one of the hardest things on earth...