You are right that a 2 year old is more cognizant than a pup.

But two year olds are pretty darn instinctual with minimal verbal communication skills.
Hitting or biting or having a temper tantrum are perfectly normal developmental issues with 2 year olds.

That doesn't mean you condone it, or allow it. But you don't smack them for it!

You redirect, you give a verbal correction, you remove the child and/or yourself from the situation and most of all you take a deep breath and don't hit a baby.

My only critique was on the timing.

As to swatting around a two year, somehow I can't see myself doing it. It sounds more then a little counter-productive if I was asked about the methodology.
However there is a good portion of the population that believe corporal punishment is way under used. Very old school, I understand. Shrug, I'll give them that as long as it isn't abuse and the timing is of use for the lesson to be taught.

That being said.
I would be sure to maybe get a little closer to that branch of the family.
Spend some more time with them or maybe some baby sitting duties. Find out how the mother is really handling things.

If you know what I mean.

The obvious is that this child (my grand niece I suppose) could have only learned how to raise her hand because that is what she has seen from her mother. To deal with frustration by hitting. I doubt (we've all heard this before) that my niece is capable of serious abuse and I have seen a lot of parents use hitting as a punishment. I will be watching closely though.

There are those of us out there that would say that the old way (corporal punishment) is the best way. We have all heard older folks talk about how they would never even consider looking at their father in a cross way for fear that he would kick the crap out of them and that is the best way to get children to tow the line.

I'm not sure I agree with that. I hope my kids respect me for the things I taught them and the example that I set for them rather than complying out of fear.

I have two Pit Mixes and they both come from shelters with their own set of issues. Today they are well adjusted and happy pets. I worked very hard with them and for the most part they listen very well. I would like to think its because they want to please me and not because they are afraid of a correction.

The benefits of being a good pack leader is not limited to just our dogs.

 Quote:

I'm not sure I agree with that. I hope my kids respect me for the things I taught them and the example that I set for them rather than complying out of fear.

I have two Pit Mixes and they both come from shelters with their own set of issues. Today they are well adjusted and happy pets. I worked very hard with them and for the most part they listen very well. I would like to think its because they want to please me and not because they are afraid of a correction.

You sound like an excellent pack leader Alec, and a great Dad too.

 Quote:

The benefits of being a good pack leader is not limited to just our dogs.

I couldn't agree more with you, this is so true!

 Quote: Jennifer Lee

You redirect, you give a verbal correction, you remove the child and/or yourself from the situation and most of all you take a deep breath and don't hit a baby.

Right on! I would go so far as to say that learning marker training has given me more tools in the tool box for disciplining and motivating my son. There are many parallels, IMO, to raising a child and puppy.

I am just going to post this very short message on the baby hitting. I took a psych class this spring for college. There have been studies done where what a child witnesses the child repeats. So if a child watches violent shows on tv, or witnesses another person hurting something they will do it.

Case in point. My 3 year old daughter walks on tip toes everywhere. My 2 year old just started doing because she watches her sister do it.

If the neice just moved to your area, I agree with the advice above to get to know her better. Maybe if she sees a alternative way to handle a situation where a child acts out she can a adapt that different way to handle things.

I am a full time mom and a Full time nursing student. Yes there are times where I am ready to pull my hair out and could just spit. For the sake of my children I go stand on my patio or go down the hall and throw a Mom tantrum. I do get it out of my system, lol, but I am always up for new ideas on better ways to time manage my life/kids.

If she gets to know you bring up your kids when they were that age. Ask her hey have you ever had this happen yet? Make it a simliar situation to what just happened. Say this is what I found worked. Moms, I have found, are ALWAYS trading advice on ways to get the home/hearth/kids/etc to flow smoothly (Just like training dogs I am finding ). I even discuss with MY mom on situations how she handled them. If you feel comfortable doing this, its a great learning tool because you can quietly move her away from "hitting her daughter" to something that wont include hitting.

Granted this is JMO. Heck I am still learning to be a better MOM.

Mary

I still call my mom in a semi-panic not knowing what on earth to do on a fairly regular basis.

I have also been known to lock myself in the bathroom and just have a good cry when I am overwhelmed with the job of parenting. That was more frequent when he was 2-4 or so when they are such a full time job.

Heh I like "Mom Tantrum", but yes thats about exactly what I do. lol

Great thoughts all. Thanks...