Give the SO time. They come around to appreciate critters, appreciate what animals can add to life --- once they are trained and managable.

My husband has come around. He even has his own dog now!

Give some though to doing something that your wife enjoys doing.
My wife of almost 47 yrs isn't a dog person. She had pet dogs growing up but never into it like I've been all my life but she also like things I'm not into. We both support one another 100%.
I've had a few that she really loved and enjoyed but for the most part they are still my dogs.

..............I HAVE learned to grovel really well when it comes time for a new dog.

 Quote: Tracy Collins

Your SO doesn't have to be as much of a dog person as you are. Most of us live with others who don't share the same degree of dog-crazy that we do. It's okay.

So it just requires a change of mindset from you. Axel is YOUR dog. You are 100% responsible for his care, exercise, and training. And it sounds like you are doing a great job of it. It's better that SO has no interaction with him than counter-productive interaction. So count her out of the training picture and readjust your vision of how things are going to work going forward.

Axel and SO interact only when you are there. Then it's up to you to ensure he behaves mannerly toward her.

You've created an expectation (apparently without agreement from SO) that Axel would be "our" dog. Just change the mental construct: Axel is "my" dog.

 Quote: steve strom

Hey Rob, if you think about what Tracy's telling you, I can tell you from experience that will go a very long way towards ending your frustration. My wife's relationship with our dogs is very different from mine and it works because we're different and the dogs know that.

In real general terms, I'm obedience, she's management. The dogs respect that and fit into both. You can't force something that isn't there. Its all about safety.

 Quote: Betty Landercasp

Give the SO time. They come around to appreciate critters, appreciate what animals can add to life --- once they are trained and managable.

My husband has come around. He even has his own dog now!

 Quote: Bob Scott

Give some though to doing something that your wife enjoys doing.
My wife of almost 47 yrs isn't a dog person. She had pet dogs growing up but never into it like I've been all my life but she also like things I'm not into. We both support one another 100%.
I've had a few that she really loved and enjoyed but for the most part they are still my dogs.

..............I HAVE learned to grovel really well when it comes time for a new dog.

WOW!

It's hard to say "ditto" loud enough!

Here's one example, and this is an example with two people who are actually both serious dog folks. Ed and Cindy, in the same house, have "my dog(s) and your dog(s)," and required maintenance is all that the "other" person does with the dog who is not theirs.

For me, I could never ever demand from another person my level of commitment or my life-focus on dogs.

Bob makes a great point: just as your life partner accepts (but is not required to be a major part of) your "thing," it's very good if you too participate in her "thing."


This board impresses me often.

The concern for me is that she wants to be apart of the dogs life, she absolutely loves him and cares highly for him but doesn't show the effort in the training. For instance I told her today a few times I want to get working her with the dog and she kinda rolled her eyes... I don't think she understands the reality of the safety point.

Training can seem boring to some, and to some it doesn't seem fun. The more I read here, the more I learn and see dogs being trained the more drive and motivation I have to teach my dog. I just wish she saw and understood the gravity of the situation. I mean... Say she's answering the door, Axle takes off out the door - well you can say see you later Axle, there's no command nothing she can say or do at that moment to get him back because she doesn't work with him.

Today I wasn't doing training sessions, just general commands.. We went to visit my mom, she loves Axle - anyway while throwing the ball in the backyard I would give a command before throwing, whether it a down, a sit or even a recall. There wasn't much structure just some fun ball throwing. It paid off when the neighbors dog almost jumped through the stockade fence that needs replacing, large 90+ lb GSD, Axle saw him - hackles went up, tail went straight, teeth came out and he took off darting to the fence where we was - one "Axle Come!" He turned around, hackles went down and all the focus was on me - and his ball. Axle got praised beyond belief, hooked up to a leash, was put in a down as I jimmy rigged the fence for my mothers safety and then he was released.


Forgive my rambling again, I do appreciate all the advice. Although I'm stubborn and may not agree 100% I am absorbing and digesting it all.

One thing to remember about two people and their both interacting with the same dog.
YOUR desire for control may have nothing to do with your better half's desire. It's nice but not a do or die situation.
IF that person is happy with what they get out of the dog that's all that matters.
My Sch III GSD will listen to the wife but the dog is absolutely crazy about my 8yr old grand son. The dog minds and works with him better then anyone other then me.
Dogs wont be ruined if everyone in the family doesn't expect the same responses from the dog.

 Quote:

Say she's answering the door, Axle takes off out the door - well you can say see you later Axle, there's no command nothing she can say or do at that moment to get him back because she doesn't work with him.

Management Rob. Our family room is gated so the dogs don't have free access to the front door. Doorbell rings, my wife opens the back door and lets the dog out before she ever goes to the front door.

We do everything possible to never have my wife in a position where she is having to stop something dangerous. I do all the obedience, she hugs and pets and plays with. Feeds them, all in ways that there's no conflict. You can build respect without a fight.

If your wife is rolling her eyes when you talk about training, that's an indication that she thinks the whole training and management thing is overrated (or at least the you are making a big deal of it). Both of you will have to lower your expectations of her being able to handle the dog. IMHO, don't expect her to take management seriously, and, as Steve just said, don't put her in a position to have to manage the dog in difficult circumstances.

FWIW, my dog is always alone with me, and I don't let her have unrestricted access to the front door, whether it's to prevent her from bolting out or from accosting anyone at the door. Management!

Put some of the training to the test today, and not on purpose by any means...

The UPS man came to deliver a package, we're new to the area so he has yet to meet my dog. I had just got home from my part time day job, I let Axle out of the crate and he gets SUPER excited obviously - well the door bell rings, and he goes CRAZY (non-aggressive) barking and running around. Well I just yell to the UPS man "just one minute!" and proceed to tell Axle to "down". This was a big test because he had no collar on to correct him, therefore it was verbal only corrections. If you've followed my posts I don't know if he's been marker trained (more on his training below). Well Axle went into a down, still barking and excited but in a down. I slowly open the doors, Axle's butt pops up I say "No. Down." and he sets his body back down perfectly. I sign the document, and close the doors - I give him the release and we party it up for a job well done. It was a very proud puppy daddy moment haha

Almost to much chance there but congrats that it worked.

 Quote: Bob Scott

Almost to much chance there but congrats that it worked.

I was very confident that it would work, I opened the door EXTREMELY slow and my eyes never came off of Axle.