I have several problems- My male is a year old (11 lbs) and my female is 3 years (7 lbs). I have had the male since 8 wks and the female for only 2 months. Both have been altered. The male at 4 mths and the female at 3 years 2 mths. The male will try to keep the female from coming to the house. He stands in the gate and knocks her down when she tries to come thru the gate. My male can be very defiant when disciplined but tends to be soft and a can full of pennies seems to be the only thing that gets his attention. The female is very soft. When I get on to the male she thinks she is in trouble. I keep them in separate pens when I am away from the house. She will go potty outside but then will pee on the carpet if I leave her out of her pen while doing yard work. I go thru the door first. I eat before they eat. She is gaining weight since being altered. The both are very possessive for attention. How do I stop the male from knocking her down? How do I get her to not potty in the house? Should I only feed her once a day but the male eats when he wants. How do I know if I am the pack leader and have their respect?

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I have several problems- .....

Maybe if they are broken down, it will be easier to offer solutions.......

Maybe the simplest is the weight gain. Exercise is vital. If she's gaining weight, she's eating more than she's using. The number of meals won't change the weight gain, as long as the amount per day doesn't change, and many very small dogs do need two meals to get enough food without being stuffed all at once. I would increase exercise (walking with you, especially, for many reasons, one of which is reinforcing your pack leader status as you lead the dogs).

The male knocking her down: that's the pack leader's job to stop. He doesn't decide his behavior towards her; you do.

If the female is frightened by raised voices (which I guess is what "she thinks she's in trouble" means), you can correct the male with a low stern voice.

Potty in the house: Has she been checked for a UTI? If she has a clean bill of health, then you can start over with step one of housetraining. Don't let her make mistakes (leaving her loose in the house without you). Your housebreaking Q and A are all here, so it seems silly to re-type it:
http://www.leerburg.com/qahouse.htm

You have a crate, so you're halfway there. <img src="http://www.leerburg.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Post back if this doesn't answer your questions after you read the crate-training answers, OK?

Good luck. Address each issue separately and calmly and it will all come together.