An acquaintance, the grandmother of a boy the same age as my oldest boy, asked me tonight if the boy, of which she has custody, could live with us for a month while she goes out on a barge (job)... apparently her sitter renigged on her last-minute.

She said she doesn't know anyone else she would trust with the boy's care, so I'm honored by the request.

But I have four children, ages 10, 8, 7 & 5, and the dogs, and a husband. Hubby is fine with whatever I decide, knowing I will be the primary caretaker.

I want to help the lady, but I'm not sure about taking on the responsibility. He's a great, well-behaved kid & I'm not worried about that. His dad is also working on a barge, and I'm not sure where his mom is or why grandma has custody. Those are questions that were previously none of my business, but if I consider doing this, I will feel I have the right to ask personal questions. She did say she has legal/health papers ready for whoever does keep him.

We have room, we can afford it. But I have epilepsy, and seizures are always a possibility (but a rarity), and if I had one during the four weeks, whoever helped me would then have five children to watch rather than four (a matter of hours)...

I'm just looking for honest and frank opinions and suggestions. Since we have previously discussed keeping foster children, I've kindof thought this would be a way for us to 'get our feet wet.'

????

THANKS

I think your first step is for you and your husband to come up with a list of questions/concerns/thoughts to go over with the Grandmother so you have a clearer picture of what you'd be signing up for.

If they asked you to watch their child for a month then you have every right to ask any and all questions concerning the safety of that child ie medical, legal, custody, for a month you may need a limited power of attorney in case of a medical emergency or trouble at school. You'd want to know who are his friends he can see or not see. Does he have a cell phone where you can contact him on the barge? etc etc

When I was watching my sister's kids a month during the H1N1 incident last fall I spoke to teachers and school staff to let them know what was going on. I also got a temporary custody statement for both kids to allow me to seek medical care. I also had to update my in law's ex wife while he was hospitalized that if Steve died from swine flu then legally my nephew would have to be returned to her. I would encourage you to get a list of people who need to be notified of anything that comes up.

I also would encourage you to draw up a legal document which would exclude you from legal action if something horrible should happen, the kid has an emotional distress problem come up which requires therapy, or learns something that grandma might disapprove of. I would also include statements outlining rules of your home including any religion related stuff like attending church on Sundays, fish on Fridays, and other stuff that this kid would be participating in.

Thanks for the suggestions. No one screamed No! I'm really glad I'm in a position to help her, but I can't imagine leaving my own children for 4 weeks, so I can't think of all that needs to be done.

Paula, I think it's really nice of you to be willing to do this for someone that's not family.

As Melissa noted, make sure the school is notified, and get numbers for his pediatrician, any meds allergies, food allergies, etc.

Paula,
Just wanted to say that I think it is really wonderful of you to consider helping this boy for his grandmother.

I can only imagine what the boy must be feeling and thinking.
But for you to take him in for the month, with your family and 4 kids, I imagine he will really get the chance to feel that sense of family and all that comes with it.
While of course you have lots to think about in all the things the others have mentioned. I was thinking what a positive influence your family will likely have on him.

Aside from all the details of legal issues etc. I can't help but see how awesome it will be for him to have 4 new kids to play with and become friends as well as get the chance to feel a part of something special.

After having just watched the movie "The Blind side" ( I know that this is nothing like that) it makes me think of these special opportunities that anyone can have if they allow them to happen.
If you do decide to do this, I would imagine it will be something that both the boy and your family will never forget and may even possibly forge a lifelong relationship in the future.
Bless your heart for considering this, I hope it all works out for you!

Hi Paula,

I agree with what everyone else is saying, but I would stress all the legal ramifications of this. Many states require you to have a license for any care of children that are not related, they also require criminal offender checks{CORI}, and it can also be illegal to transport a minor, not your own, over state lines. Here is a link for your state, you can run it by them...GET NAMES of those that gave you the information.
http://www.state.tn.us/humanserv/adfam/cc_main.htm

I am not talking you out of it, you have four children, and pets, if you are able to consider this, than you are most likely the right person for this child's care!