Hi guys - I regret to inform you all (for those that have been following this story in the other thread) that Zora died this afternoon around 2:10PM PST. Her tumor surgery went well on Thurs and she came home yesterday. Prognosis was good and we expected her to be feeling a bit better within a week and back to normal within a month.

However, she collapsed this afternoon and I rushed her to the emergency vet (only 1 mile away) but she died enroute. It seems she probably had a blood clot move to her lung or something.

Anyway, my question is this: what should I do with my younger (4 yr old) dog. Should I let him see the body or should she just "be gone"? They were buddies, but she was enough older that she couldn't go with us on our adventures so they weren't close pals in that sense.

Any advise is greatly appreciated. And thank you for all your support. This has been a tough month. I'm pretty shattered right now.

If at all possible I let them see and sniff the body.

They know.

I'm so sorry about Zora.

I'm sorry for your loss.


Use your best judgement, when she was gone at the vet before was he looking for you, did he seem nervous or uncomfortable away from her? If so I'd let him see and smell the body if you think he would be okay with that. If not I'd bring a blanket that smells like her and keep it in around area he frequents, and just let the scent fade away that way there's no sudden gap or lack of smell in the environment.

When I lost my terrier we brought her collar home to our other dog and hung it on the crate a few days, our other pup looked for her for a day but would come back to smell the collar and after a few days she stopped looking and was okay. They were not particularly close.

Matt, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your
family during this sad time.

Matt, I was following your other thread, and I am so very sorry to hear about Zora's passing. I wish there was something I could say to help, but just know there are many of us who understand your pain.

As to your specific question, I'm sorry I can't be of any help as we only recently became a multi-dog household.

 Quote: Betty Waldron

If at all possible I let them see and sniff the body.

I strongly agree. Dogs accept death, but a sudden disappearance is much different. IME, the surviving dog will sniff and look, maybe even for a couple of minutes, and then be done. So much better than confusion and bewilderment over a missing pack member.

Matt, I'm so sorry. You did everything you could do.



ETA
It has only been a few years that I've known to allow the other dog(s) to see and sniff the body, but I have not seen anything even close to a severe reaction. Nothing like the infrequent but really sad reactions I had seen before, when the pack member just "disappeared," including waiting at the door, exhibiting what in human we would describe as intense grief, and even loss of appetite and loss of desire to play.

With a few exceptions, my adopted dogs have been older adults and seniors, and with that comes a significant amount of death experience.

To me, it has been a relief to learn about letting the survivor(s) in on what has happened. Before, a lot of my anxiety was around the effect on my other pack members.


Edited by Connie Sutherland (01/08/2012 06:07 PM)
Edit reason: ETA

What Connie said. It's important for them to be able to say good-bye in their own way.

Matt, you might want to link us to a picture of Zora. I know I would like to put her face to her name. I'm sure that many would.

If you like, you could put it in the section below, and I'll make a link to it from here and vice versa:

http://leerburg.com/webboard/topiclist.php?forum_id=143
("A tribute to a lost friend")

Oh Matt, I’m so sorry to hear this. Those wayward blood clots are such an awful thing.

 Quote: Charlie Snyder

What Connie said. It's important for them to be able to say good-bye in their own way.

I couldn't agree with this more.

I'm sure dogs don't understand what causes their pack mates to stop living but one thing I experienced fairly recently, almost 2 years ago now, is that they do understand death.

It takes about a minute or two; they sniff the body and do very individual things. My husky, the most bonded of the three, chose to sit by him and stare at me. The baby, who'd known him less than a year was a little vocal and gave him a little nudge. My shepherd did a fair amount of sniffing but then just turned to me.

After about two minutes, they were all just looking at me, as if to say okay, what now. We headed out to bury him. I will never do it any other way. There's no internal explaining or wondering what the dogs might be thinking.

They get it instantly, their curiosity takes different forms but they're really quick to put it to rest.

If you have an opportunity for your four year old to view and interact with the body, I would let him have the time he needs, regardless of how close they were. My youngest seemed the most affected.

Again, my condolences for your loss. You did everything in your power to do. It was her time to meet up with some of the incredible souls at the bridge. She's running in great company now. Your young one will know that as soon as he sees her.

Hugs

Matt, so sorry for your loss. You did all that you could for her. She knew that you did. RIP Zora.

I agree with allowing your other dog to say good-bye in his own way. Even if they were not close...they were all part of your 'pack'.