My bf and I took my 2 dogs to visit my parents for a week at the end of last month. One of the dogs (Jake) had a problem with my dad. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure Jake was feeling threatened, and would bark and retreat because of it.

I asked my dad to just ignore Jake, because as far as I could tell Jake would do ok until my dad would turn and try to pay attention to Jake. Dad would lean forward and stare at the poor dog saying 'come' despite my asking him to ignore Jake. I think dad was frustrated that the dog didn't 'like' him, and the harder he tried, the worse Jake got. At one point my dad finally said he thought I would have had the dog 'trained better' by this point (I've had the two dogs for a year and a half now, they are both 3). I admit this hurt my feelings a bit . I thought I was doing at least "ok" for a newbie with two unsocialized rescue GSD's.

My family is coming to visit for Thanksgiving... Any suggestions on how to explain the reasons why it's best to leave Jake alone or otherwise deal with this? I'm sure my dad isn't doing this on purpose, he just doesn't realize that Jake is nervous around men to begin with, and that his body language is threatening to the dog... I ended up either crating Jake or putting him on a tether during our visit. I even tried having dad feed both dogs pieces of hotdog (which are one of THE BEST treats for them, lol) and Jake gobbled the hotdog and ran.

I felt a little better when my grandmother came over and completely ignored Jake, and he was still curious enough to sniff her toes (we were sitting at the dining room table with Jake on a leash sitting or laying down under the table. She's not crazy about dogs, but isn't scared of them... I think they're just too slobbery for her so she didn't care if the dog liked her or not. He also got used to my mom after she went on a few walks with us, although he was still a bit wary.

I admit this is frustrating for all of us... We can crate and tether again, but it would be nice to have the dogs loose as normal. At least at my house we have the benefit of the backyard for some breaks.

I'll tell ya, some of the biggest disagreements I have had with extended family, have revolved around dogs.

My mother is one of those folks that follows the latest dog trend, whatever it may be this month. I'm waiting for her to get a gentle leader.

She doesn't understand why I refuse to take my dog to a dog park (she takes her standard poodle all the time), why I keep my housetrained puppy in a crate, why I refuse to feed the same brands of food she fed to her dogs their whole lives...

Discussing dogs with parents, is a lot like discussing child rearing with parents. Whenever you do it different than they did it- they take it as an attack on their methods. "What, my way wasn't good enough for you?"

Sometimes it's just easiest to keep the dog away from them. If my mother insists on calling the dog to her multiple times, I just kennel the dog. If that offends my mother, so be it.

 Quote: Alyssa Myracle

Sometimes it's just easiest to keep the dog away from them. If my mother insists on calling the dog to her multiple times, I just kennel the dog. If that offends my mother, so be it.

Good solution.

I agree; in particular I think parents are a real pain. Hearing my 75 year old mother pooh-pooh me as to why the dog eats after us, and why she needs to ignore the dog when they are in the same room together ('I never had to do that with any of our dogs') drives me nuts. So, usually when she visits the pup is crated.

Parents have this uncanny ability to make you feel like, well, a child!

How about explaining in very simple terms, like:
'If you ignore the dog, he may warm up to you.'

To be accompanied by 'If you continue to pay attention to the dog his behavior will only get worse, and I will have to crate him.'
Good luck...

Good for you for rescuing!! I have the opposite situation. My mother watches the dog whisperer, and calls me every time she helps one of her friends dogs with a problem (pulling on the leash down the stairs was the last phone call ) and I'm VERY proud of her for that.

I agree with the other two posts, and would add to tell your father that when you ignore the dog he will not feel threatened and EVENTUALLY will come up and sniff him. As shown when grandma ignores him.

When your dad feeds him the hot dogs, make him do three or four commands and then make him do the happy party afterward. Doing the happy party may deter him from wanting to pet your dogs altogether . Maybe having him in a stay while he is eating the hot dogs, but having a stranger making a dog work for the hot dogs is a good idea.

You can also explain that just like a shy child, dogs do not like to feel uncomfortable. Explain that dogs use their noses and will come and smell you when they are comfortable. Also explain that a dog smelling someone is NOT always an invitation for pets. Imagine a lab thumping his tail ears back, mouth open approaching you, that's when you can pet a dog. When a dog crouches or slowly comes over and smells for a few minutes, that's a dog who is unsure and will take a bit more time to warm up. Maybe these visual images will help him understand a little better. GOOD LUCK, family can be difficult sometimes.

I wish I had a good solution for this. Everyone has an opinion on how to raise/train/treat dogs and family certainly has no problem messing with your training program to fill that vision.

It's a difficult conversation that I have every now and again at my house. The basic rule is my family can do anything that they want to my house and I could care less but don't touch the dogs, leave them in their kennels and leave them alone. It may seem a little hard lined but I got tired of hearing the story of what my dogs did while I was away or worse making a phone call home and while on the phone call hearing my dog shriek since my 2 year old nephew pulled his hair. After that I drew a hard line and on the flip side of that to be fair to my family I never ask them to do anything for me involving the dogs nor do I force interaction between them and the dogs. If I'm entertaining family the dogs are left in their kennels or crates. They're my project and my pets and I keep it that way.

Best of luck.

Melissa

Thanks for all of the thoughts-

the more I think about it (and read your posts) the more I think we'll just have extra crate or backyard time for a few days. Everyone (especially me) will be much happier without the dogs underfoot to worry about.

I was so happily surprised that they both made a 13 hour road trip with NO hassle whatsoever (except for a few curvy arkansas roads- Jake and I both looked a little green after getting off of the 'scenic route'). I guess I should have known that the whole trip wouldn't be that easy, lol. http://www.flickr.com/photos/7804315@N06/2702016622/

Jennifer- btw, whats the name of that cube???

I have a 2 year old German Shepherd, she is a beautiful high drive very solid nerved bitch, but she is aloof to the point she is embarassing at times. I also have 3 other Shepherds that are outgoing and friendly, my family which are all dog lovers try so hard to get this dog to come to them and break through, she follows along with the other dogs, even closely , but the minute someone turns to talk to her or try to pet her she backs away, no growling or barking, just backs away. My mother comes and spends the weekends with me 2 or 3 times a month, and just last month for the first time ever, the dog went up and put her head in her lap as my Mom was reading the paper, my Mom has never pressured her and the dog after 2 YEARS, finally accepted her, last week she greeted my Mom enthusiastically as a member of the pack and my Mom was thrilled. It takes patience and understanding that dogs all have a different personality.. I also have a very aggressive horse that literally attacks people, he is 19 and I bred and raised him, he's the only one of the line with this aggression, his stall is hot-wired and there are signs all around warning people to stay away in BIG RED LETTERS, yet the horse has bitten at least 8 people who either didn't believe me or thought they were the next coming of the horse whisperer, I REPEATEDLY tell people the only thing the horse hates more than people, is people in his space, yet they continue to try to "tame" the horse with pats and food, I just don't get it when people don't listen for their own good, no one knows the animals more than the owners!!!!!

It's the buster cube. Leerburg sells it, I got it at my local feed store. It's the BEST toy. Mine pushes it till it's empty, and sometimes a good five minutes afterward to make sure he's gotten everything out. I feed him kibble in the AM so the cube is a GREAT way to do breakfast. On one of the podcasts, Ed mentions how dogs like the pursuit of food as much if not better than actually eating the food. It's SO true!!

http://leerburg.com/1124.htm

The description video is pretty good. Ears were at attention when he heard Ed shake the cube hehe

My mom inherited a very young Shitzu (can never spell that right) from very good stock, I was actually very impressed with this little s**t. I spent 2 weeks training him and he learned so darned quick with positive reinforcement that it blew me away, and I have 3 trained GSDs. My mom, love her to death, went on and on about how my hubbie taught Odie to "out" with just two tries (never mind my 2 weeks of training before). She brags to all her friends. Now she is talking of taking Odie to a "real trainer" to see how much better he can be trained (I have trained dogs successfully for 8 years....you can't win with parents, just love them and bite your tongue. As for your dad, just put your dog away until your dad understands the rules and make it out that your dad is really helping with this part of your dogs training phase. Good luck