June 01, 2021
My puppy prefers playing with my adult dog over interacting with me. What can I do?
Full Question:
I’m trying to get my 12-week-old Aussie puppy to focus on me using Michael Ellis’ methods. I want us to have a good relationship. The problem is, she is tepid about me but she ADORES my older Aussie. I started keeping them separate at all times (which is hard) but whenever she’s out of her crate, the puppy goes straight for the big one. And when they are together in person, they are relentless players. The puppy shows ten times the enthusiasm for the old dog and she does for me despite good treats (I went and bought her steak which is better food than I get!) and lots of affection from me. What else can I do?
Thanks Cindy.
Cindy's Answer:
I don't allow puppies to have physical interactions with my adult dogs if they show extreme interest, as you describe your puppy.
Yes, it's difficult to keep them separate, and when the puppy is out of the crate the adult dog should NOT be accessible. There are really no other options especially when the puppy has practiced lots of fun and reinforcing interactions with your other dog. I keep my puppies leashed at all times when they are with me in the house from the beginning.
Most of us will never be more fun than another dog and now that your puppy has gotten hooked on your adult dog it makes your management much more critical if you don't want to end up with a dog-focused puppy. Needless to say, no more play sessions right now. If I can't call my dogs away from each other when they are playing then it tells me they need more relationship building with me. I"m lucky that my adult dogs ignore puppies I bring home, it makes teaching neutrality much easier.
Keep in mind that for a lot of puppies affection isn't a valuable currency. Maybe when the pup is older she will value it but for many dogs it's simply something they tolerate for their owners. They want play, interaction, fun and food. So you will need to up your game to become more interesting and dynamic than the other dog while removing access to the other dog from the equation right now.
FYI, I see you are not too far from us. We'll be hosting Michael Ellis here in September in case you are interested. He almost never does seminars anymore, he was here in December 2019 and it was a great event. We're very excited to have him back again this fall.
Yes, it's difficult to keep them separate, and when the puppy is out of the crate the adult dog should NOT be accessible. There are really no other options especially when the puppy has practiced lots of fun and reinforcing interactions with your other dog. I keep my puppies leashed at all times when they are with me in the house from the beginning.
Most of us will never be more fun than another dog and now that your puppy has gotten hooked on your adult dog it makes your management much more critical if you don't want to end up with a dog-focused puppy. Needless to say, no more play sessions right now. If I can't call my dogs away from each other when they are playing then it tells me they need more relationship building with me. I"m lucky that my adult dogs ignore puppies I bring home, it makes teaching neutrality much easier.
Keep in mind that for a lot of puppies affection isn't a valuable currency. Maybe when the pup is older she will value it but for many dogs it's simply something they tolerate for their owners. They want play, interaction, fun and food. So you will need to up your game to become more interesting and dynamic than the other dog while removing access to the other dog from the equation right now.
FYI, I see you are not too far from us. We'll be hosting Michael Ellis here in September in case you are interested. He almost never does seminars anymore, he was here in December 2019 and it was a great event. We're very excited to have him back again this fall.
User Response:
Thanks so much, Cindy. Miserable though it is at the moment, you reassure me that I’m doing the right thing by keeping the dogs separate. Now it’s on to the upping my game part. I’m a low key, introvert person so that’s not easy, either, but I’m giving it a go. More steak!I have ME’s last seminar in my library but I’d love to see the master in person. I’ll see what I can do in fall!
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